4 Writing Proposals
Proposals are one of the most important genres in professional and technical communication. They’re used to solve problems, request funding, and win bids. In a proposal, you need to convince your audience about the seriousness of a problem, describe a specific solution, and then try to persuade your audience that your solution is a sound and feasible one. The proposal, then, consists of two arguments: first, you must convince your audience that your problem needs to be solved; second, you must persuade them to choose your particular solution. At heart, proposals are a call to action: you/we should do X because…
In this assignment, you will identify and describe a local and practical problem, one that impacts a K-State, Manhattan, or another home community. You will first need to make sure that this problem is a significant and important one. It also needs to be a problem that can be solved at the local level. In other words, someone in your community must have the power to enact the change that you are proposing; therefore, audience selection is very important for this assignment. You will need to choose the appropriate specific audience to whom to address your proposal; a successful proposal will be addressed to a specific person, not simply to a position or title. Determining the appropriate audience is one kind of research that you will have to do for this assignment. Make sure that your audience will care about this problem, be invested in helping you solve it, and have the power to make the proposed change. If you’re having a hard time coming up with a topic, you may want to check The Collegian or The Manhattan Mercury.
After determining a problem that can be solved at a local level and identifying the correct audience to whom to direct your proposal, you’ll need to describe an appropriate and feasible solution. As you research possible solutions, make sure that you are aware of the various costs that may be involved. What will materials and labor cost? What will be the cost of regular maintenance once the solution has been implemented? Similar to your problem description, make sure that your research of the solution demonstrates your credibility. One way to enhance your ethos is by illustrating your thorough research of the issue and its associated costs.
You will then justify to your intended audience why your solution is the best available. This section should be the most developed of your proposal, as this is the moment in which you argue why your readers should adopt this particular solution. In this section, remember not to provide reasons for why the problem is a problem—that is information that should be included in the problem description section; instead, focus here on why, exactly, your solution is the solution that the audience should choose to act upon. This is another place where you will need to make clear to your audience that you understand the costs of your proposal solution, but you believe that the potential benefits outweigh those costs. As you craft your justification, remember to keep audience-based reasoning in mind; your reasons and research should appeal to the interests, values, needs, and concerns of your intended audience, not simply to you.
In fact, throughout your proposal, you will need to demonstrate your ability to see the problem and solution from your audience’s perspective. For example, what doubts might your readers have about the problem? How can you counter your audience’s skepticism or questions about the solution you have identified? You will also need to include sufficient and relevant research to demonstrate your credibility and knowledge about the problem and the solution.
Your proposal will consist of the following sections:
Transmittal Letter
Your proposal will include a transmittal letter, which will introduce your proposal and persuade your audience to consider it. A secondary purpose of the letter is to enhance your ethos by establishing your relationship with the intended audience and introducing the audience to your ideas. The letter should persuade this audience to read and consider the submitted proposal by briefly describing the proposal’s claim and the positive benefits that would result from enacting your proposal. The tone of the letter should be professional, and the style should be concise and familiar (i.e., use familiar, natural language). The letter should follow the standard business letter block format, which includes the following features: heading, inside address, salutation, body paragraphs, complimentary close, signature, and author name. The proposal transmittal should be single-spaced within blocked paragraphs and be only 1 full page in length with one- inch margins.
Introduction
Interest your readers in your particular problem and solution. Provide a brief overview of the problem and your proposed solution. You should directly forecast your main claim and reasons: “We should do X because .” (Note: Your reasons will form the justification.)
Problem Description
Describe your problem vividly and specifically. You will likely want to find some local research sources to support your description and your explanation for why this problem is an important one. Keep your audience in mind: make sure that you indicate how the problem affects your readers (not just how it affects you) and why they should care about it. Audience-based reasoning is crucial to a successful proposal.
Solution Description
Describe your solution in detail. You will need to provide sufficient research and specific details in order to illustrate how your solution is both believable and feasible. It is often a good idea to include alternative solutions and explain why these alternatives were (or should be) rejected. This information demonstrates to your readers that you are aware of other possible solutions and that you have compared the feasibility of your solution with these alternatives. (Note: some writers choose to include this information in their solution description section while others construct a separate section for alternatives. In either case, you will also want to illustrate that you have researched the costs and potential problems associated with your solution, as well as with the alternative solutions.)
Justification
Using audience-based reasons, explain why your solution is a good one and is, in fact, better than other possible solutions. Show how your proposal is in the best interests of your intended audience and address their concerns. Some students find researching the values of their audience, such as examining K- State’s Mission Statement, helpful for refining their audience-based reasons. Your work on warrants this semester should also help you determine your audience’s values and concerns. (Note: The justification section should be the largest and most developed one in your proposal; make sure that you provide enough information to support your reasons.)
Conclusion
Try to leave your readers with a final impression of why your problem is an important one. Provide a final call to action urging your readers to consider and address your proposal. You might also remind them, briefly, how your solution benefits them.
Your instructor will give you suggestions for how to structure and format the proposal. Typically, as proposals are formal (and formalized) professional documents, it will be in extended memo format and will include subheadings to make it more accessible and readable.
For the proposal genre, make sure that these sections can stand alone. You should not, for example, mix additional description about the problem in your solution description. Although your instructor might give you different guidelines, the proposal is usually will be between 1700- 2800 words (the equivalent of 5-8 double-spaced pages, in standard 12-point font) and must include at least five relevant, integral, credible outside sources.
Objectives
By the end of this Unit, your Proposal will meet the following objectives:
- identify and argue for the significance of a local problem or concern
- identify and describe a reasonable and feasible solution
- apply audience-based reasoning to convince an appropriate audience to act on your solution
- conduct research for practical and local topics
- use research to support your proposed solution
- apply organizational and stylistic strategies to a professional-technical communication genre
Beware of these common Proposal weaknesses:
- The solutions are unrealistic and unfeasible (e.g., “The campus bookstore should lower textbook prices because they cost too much.” Or, “The university should provide a helicopter to help students get to off-campus lab sites more quickly and efficiently.”)
- The intended audience is not in the position to solve the problem (e.g., a proposal that is written to students about solving the parking problems on campus.)
- The reasons are based on the interests and concerns of the writer, not on audience-based ones (e.g., “We should build another parking garage because I can never find a parking spot.”)
- The justification is under-developed and/or is the smallest section in the proposal. This often means that the student has not thoroughly explained why the proposed solution should be implemented.
- The problem is a national or policy issue, not a local one.
- The justification section provides reasons for why the problem is a problem; it does not provide reasons for why the audience should consider the solution and take action.
- The problem has been written a great deal by students and therefore it is difficult to provide any new or persuasive information to your audience (e.g., parking and campus-wide smoking bans).
Extended Example of a Proposal
To get a better grasp of how proposal writers move through the different stages of a proposal, please read this section, which will focus on a ride-sharing proposal at the University of Utah.
Problem Description
According to Richard Johnson-Sheehan in Writing Proposals, a problem manifests itself because of a change—something has changed, either socially, culturally, economically, or technologically, which now makes people far more aware of the problem. For example, at the University of Utah, there has been a change in students’ perceptions about their safety, in particular when traveling home at night on foot or by one of the ride-hailing companies, such as Uber or Lyft. These University of Utah students may be aware of attacks that have occurred on other college campuses by drivers—or by drivers whom were mistaken as Uber or Lyft employees.[1]
As you explore your problem, you’ll want to come to grips with the change: What has been the cause of the problem? Also, what are the consequences of the problem? Whom does it affect? What will happen if the problem is not addressed?
In your Problem Description, you will briefly describe what the problem is, but also craft an argument: The problem is one significant enough to require action. You will want to use strategies of pathos and ethos to emphasize the importance of the problem to your readers. You’ll also want to make sure that you are focusing your readers on the problem itself, and not mistaking the problem for its causes or its consequences. For example, a poor WiFi signal in a classroom may be a cause of a problem, yet what actually is the problem? Perhaps the lack of a consistent WiFi signal—the cause—may reduce students’ ability to access digital learning resources; this becomes the problem, then, that you can consider addressing.
Solution
You will offer a solution to your readers to enable them to confront the problem. Your knowledge of the solution, and your ability to describe it specifically, will enhance the persuasiveness of your overall proposal.
For example, the solution in this case is as follows: in order to address the feelings of insecurity of University of Utah students, the university proposed and then accepted the SafeRide program, which operates from 6:00 AM to 12:30 AM, Monday through Friday. This program also hired University of Utah college students, paying them over $15/hour. The university partnered with the application, TapRide, created a SafeRide website, and published the new program as well as the process for using this service.
To show your ethos, you may also provide additional solutions, which you will then reject and explain the basis of rejecting these alternative solutions to your readers. For example, the University of Utah could have easily decided to outsource the SafeRide program to such companies as Uber and Lyft. However, they rejected this alternative solution because the university had no control over hiring and doing background checks on the drivers; they were worried that students’ insecurity traveling home at night would not be offset by choosing an Uber or Lyft driver.
Justification
The third of the core proposal sections is the justification, in which you fully develop your audience-based reasons for supporting the solution you have described. You will want to make sure that your reasons match the beliefs and values of your audience and you’ll want to take their concerns into consideration. Focusing again on the University of Utah SafeRide solution, here could be some possible ways to justify this proposal:
Proposal Claim: The University of Utah should introduce a new in-house SafeRide program…
- Because the program will make students more secure when they are traveling home at night. (This reason is a causal one—you are telling readers that there will be a positive benefit or consequence because of the introduction of this solution; as the reason matches the problem, you can be confident that most readers will accept it as a legitimate one.)
- Because the program is easy to use and relatively cheap. (For this reason, you are placing the solution into two categories—ease of use and low cost—that you feel your audience will agree with.)
- Because the program offers employment to low-income students. (This is another causal reason, and it is one that university leaders may feel is an important one. It is a beneficial, yet possibly unintended, consequence of the new SafeRide program.)
For each of these reasons, the writer will want to develop the justification, referring to the “Why?” and “How?” questions. Why will this program make students feel more secure? What evidence is there from other universities that created their own in-house ride programs? How do these types of program fare better than those universities who use the cheaper Uber, Lyft, or Via applications? Why is providing a program that gives a salary to low-income students a good idea?
Stakeholder Audience
As you are exploring your local problem and coming up with a solution, you’ll need to be aware of your intended audience. In this case, your audience needs to be a stakeholder—they need to have some investment in the problem and be able to act on the solution. In the University of Utah example, the intended audience of the new SafeRide program was the Presidential Task Force on Campus Safety, a group of faculty and administrators who were asked to address the problem by the university president. This group was empowered to make changes and to allocate resources, time, and money. Of course, the members of the Presidential Task Force on Campus Safety were not directly affected by the problem—they were not college students feeling anxious about getting home safely at night. Yet, they did have a “stake” or investment in the problem: they care about the university community and about students’ perceptions about their safety; they are also aware of the image of the University of Utah and the need to enhance the university’s reputation for safety and for responding to students’ concerns.
As you have already practiced in previous units, you’ll also have to figure out the degree to which your audience will be pre-disposed to your proposal. Are you writing to a sympathetic audience? A neutral audience? Or, a more skeptical, resistant audience?
Ethos, Logos, Pathos, and Kairos
Your ethos is an important quality of the proposal. As you are asking your readers to make a change happen and likely to take a risk by spending money and resources, you will want to make sure that they trust you and find you to be knowledgeable about the problem and the solution (and alternative solutions that you have rejected). You will want to conduct practical research to develop the problem (especially its causes and its consequences), the solution (and, if applicable, alternative solutions that you will reject), and the justification.
For your logos, you will want to make sure that you have selected audience-based reasons to justify why your readers should adopt your solution to solve the problem. You will want to make sure that your proposal claim and your justifying reasons match the values and beliefs of your stakeholder readers; moreover, you will want to anticipate concerns and objections that they will have. For example, at the University of Utah, if the private ride-hailing applications are free for the universities (indeed, they may even make money off of these agreements), then you will have to make sure to defend why a costlier program outweighs the problems of supporting an application like Uber or Lyft.
Your pathos may be an important way to give your problem presence. Although your stakeholder readers will probably not be directly affected by the problem, you may want to use student anecdotes and data to stir their emotions and showcase the problem for your readers.
Finally, you can address kairos by urging your audience to act immediately. In your conclusion and introduction, you can call your readers to action, urging them to take a stand against the problem and adopt your solution. You can tell your readers what negative things may occur if action is not taken—or if there is too long of a delay in taking action.
Invention Activity: Finding a Topic
The first step in crafting your proposal is to find an appropriate problem to which you’ll pose a feasible solution. Remember that the problems need to be local and practical, meaning that they can be solved at the local level. While there are likely many things at the state and national level that you believe should be changed, those are not the kind of problems you should research and address for this assignment. Instead, think about those things in your day-to-day interactions on campus, in Manhattan, and/or in your hometown that you would like to see modified. Here are some questions to help you get started on that invention process.
- Think through your day today, from the time you woke up until this very moment. What problems did you encounter throughout your day that seem, to you, to have been outside of your control? Was the line too long at the dining hall? Were there no vegetarian food options? Were you unable to find a seat in your classroom? Did the technology in your classroom fail during your presentation? Make a list of moments throughout your day today that might point toward topics for your proposal.
- Now think through the last week. Were there any additional problems or frustrations that might make for productive proposal topics? Perhaps you walked from the parking lot after work last night and none of the safety lights were lit. Or maybe you waited for what seemed like an inordinate amount of time for SafeRides to show up on Thursday night. List any similar concerns below.
- Remember that your proposal must be a local one, but that locality can be your hometown. The last time you were home, did you notice any irritating local problems? Were you reminded of the lack of handicapped parking at the grocery store? Or perhaps you noticed that the park is covered in dog poop, making it nearly impossible for children to play there. In the space below, list any local problems you’ve noticed in your hometown.
- Below, list any other local, practical problems that you’ve encountered at K-State, in Manhattan, or in your home community.
- Read back through your above lists. A) Cross out any problems seem too small for a 5-8 page proposal. B) Cross out any problems that seem too large for a 5-8 page proposal. C) Cross out any problems for which a solution does not seem feasible.
- Get together with one or two classmates and discuss the problems that remain on your lists. Can you imagine possible solutions? Can you imagine possible impediments to those solutions? Try to help each other narrow down these lists to a few potential topics for the proposal assignment. Once you’ve completed your discussion, list 2-3 possible proposal topics in the space below.
Invention Activity: Testing Proposal Topics[2]
The three scenarios below ask you to consider the scope and feasibility of proposal topics. In small groups, read each of them and then respond to the questions. Keep these discussions in mind as you clarify your own proposal topic.
Scenario 1:
Sue Ann lives in a large apartment complex near Bill Snyder Family Stadium. The rules of the complex state that tenants may have one small pet, no larger than 15 lbs. Sue Ann’s next door neighbors, a couple who both work for XYZ Electronics, have a Chihuahua, a breed that she finds annoying. Since most of tenants in the complex are K-State students, like Sue Ann, she decides to write to the complex manager and propose that the neighbors’ annoying dog be removed as soon as possible because it bothers her.
Would Sue Ann’s topic be suitable for the proposal unit? Why or why not?
Scenario 2:
Jordan lives in a six-unit apartment building on Ratone Street, just off campus. Three times this semester his guests could not park because the dumpster where the tenants discard their trash blocked the only two designated guest slots. Jordan then decides to ask his neighbors in the other five units if they also think the lack of guest parking is a problem. He finds out that they do consider the lack of parking to be an inconvenience, especially since there is still enough space near the storage shed where the dumpster was previously located. Jordan decides to write to the building manager to propose that the dumpster be permanently moved back to the space near the shed to free up the two guest parking spaces.
Would Jordan’s topic meet the requirements for the proposal unit? Why or why not?
Scenario 3:
Mark works part-time at PDQ Restaurant. When he was hired, he received a handbook explaining safety policies all employees are expected to follow. One of those policies covers the types of shoes to be worn on the job. Because there is a lot of grease and often times other liquids spilled on the floor, only closed toe, black, non-skid shoes are to be worn on the job. Mark purchased the required shoes with his first pay check but noticed that since Spring has arrived, many of his co-workers, especially the new hires, are wearing sandals or other casual shoe styles.
Discuss with your partners how could Mark develop a proposal to address this problem. Consider his target audience, problem, claim and solution, reasons, opposing views, and possible sources of evidence.
Invention Activity: Evaluating Potential Topics
A strong proposal topic is one that is local, practical, and has a feasible solution. It is also one that considers the benefits of a solution to the larger community, rather than simply the benefits to the writer. Use the activity below to help you evaluate your potential proposal topics in order to determine which one is likely the best choice for this assignment.
Potential Topic #1
- Describe the problem
- How does this problem affect the larger community (not just you)?
- What are some potential (feasible) solutions to this problem?
- What do you imagine might be some potential problems with the above solutions?
- How will the solutions benefit the larger community (not just you)?
Potential Topic #2
- Describe the problem
- How does this problem affect the larger community (not just you)?
- What are some potential (feasible) solutions to this problem?
- What do you imagine might be some potential problems with the above solutions?
- How will the solutions benefit the larger community (not just you)?
Based on your answers in these two charts, which topic seems more appropriate for this assignment? Now, check to make sure that the topic is
- local (is situated within one of your K-State, Manhattan, or home communities).
- practical (can be solved at the local level and is not a national policy issue).
- feasible (seems as though it can be solved somewhat easily).
Invention Activity: Researching Your Proposal
You have been practicing your researching skills all semester, but the kinds of research you’ll need for your proposal might be a bit different. In order to craft a persuasive proposal, you will need to research topics such as (but not necessarily limited to) the following:
- Why the problem exists
- The appropriate audience member who can implement the proposed solution
- The values and concerns of the audience
- What solutions, if any, have already been proposed (and why they’ve been rejected)
- Potential costs associated with proposed solutions (this might include materials, labor, etc.)
- The benefits of the proposed solution
- The results of similar solutions in other communities
In order to find appropriate information on these topics, you may need to investigate sources such as
- city, university, and/or organization homepages and mission statements
- census and demographics information
- local police department webpages
- company and sales pages (for product pricing)
- city or university municipal sites
- local newspaper articles
- advocacy groups
- community outreach organizations
Keep in mind, though, that despite your focus on local issues, you might still need to do some national research. You might want to consider whether or not this problem is common throughout the country as well as how other communities have dealt with the problem. You might look at national trends, larger impacts, and common concerns. The majority of your information, however, will likely need to be tied specifically to your local community.
Remember, if you’re not sure how to get started researching, you can always talk to your instructor. Additionally, you can make an appointment with a research librarian in Hale Library. They’ll sit down with you and help you find exactly the kind of research you need. If you do make an appointment with a research librarian, remember to bring your textbook with your supplement so that the librarian has a clear sense of your assignment guidelines.
Drafting Activity: Thinking about Audience
One of the key aspects of this assignment—of this entire course, in fact—is audience-based reasoning. In order to persuade your audience to implement your proposal, you will first need to determine who that audience is. Who can actually enact the change you are proposing? Finding the answer to that question is part of the research required for this assignment. Once you know to whom to direct your proposal, you will need to keep your audience’s values, concerns, and prior knowledge in mind in order to match your reasons to those values. A successful proposal must explain why the problem is a problem for the audience and not just for the writer. Additionally, it must use reasons that will be persuasive for that specific audience, and the justification for implementing the proposal must, again, illustrate the benefits for the audience, not (simply) for the writer.
It can be helpful, then, to try to view your proposal from the point of view of your audience and to imagine that your audience is somewhat skeptical of your proposal. As your target audience is the person who is in a position to enact change, that also means that this person will have the responsibility of implementing whatever suggestion or solution you propose. Try to imagine the problems your audience might see with your proposal and illustrate that you’ve considered those concerns. Anticipate alternative views on your proposal and predict the potential pitfalls of enacting this kind of change. Showing that you’ve thought through your proposal from the perspective of your audience, and illustrating that you can address the possible concerns, not only makes your proposal more persuasive overall, it highlights your own ethos as a writer and researcher.
Here are a few questions to help you think more about your audience:
- Who can enact the change you’re proposing?
- What might a person in that position most value? How do you know?
- What concerns might a person in that position have about your proposal?
- Why might they have those concerns?
- Why might a person in that position be excited about your proposal? What might that person, or the community which that person represents, value from your proposal?
- What are the warrants (either explicit or implicit) of your proposal? Will your audience accept those warrants? Why or why not? How do you know?
Drafting Activity: Avoiding Problematic Reasons in Audience-Based Reasoning
Below are examples of problematic claims and reasons that past students have included in drafts of their justification sections. Using the questions that follow, explain why the claims and reasons are problematic and help these students revise with their audience more clearly in mind.
Problematic Reasons
- The campus bookstore should lower their textbook prices because they are too expensive for students.
- The Derby Dining Hall needs to extend its hours because I am tired of having to miss my dinners.
- K-State needs another parking garage because most K-State students can’t find parking after 10:00 and are then late for their classes.
- The Expository Writing Program shouldn’t have an attendance policy because I’m an adult and should be able to decide if I want to come to class or not.
- The Math Department shouldn’t have any international GTAs because they’re hard to understand.
- What is the intended audience of each of the above claims and reasons? What assumptions is the writer making about these audiences? How could the writer change the claim and reasons to better match the audience’s values?
- What are the warrants or assumptions expressed in these claims and reasons? Is the audience likely to accept these warrants? How can the claim and reasons be changed in order to produce warrants that are more acceptable to the audience?
- What is the purpose of these reasons? In what ways do these reasons help justify the solution for the audience? What revisions can the writer make in order to craft reasons that better suit the purpose of justifying why the audience should accept the solution and act upon it?
Logos: Reason Types
The proposal has an obvious claim type: you are proposing that your readers should or ought to do something. However, when you are supporting your proposal claim in the justification section, you may want to use different types of reason types. As we explored earlier, thse are the types that are available to you:
Definitional or Categorical: You are supporting your proposal by putting it into a particular definition or category that your audience will find persuasive.
- Northwestern University should adopt Via as a ride-hailing application because it is the cheapest solution.
- The Aggieville Business Association should create a pedestrian-only zone on Moro Street because it is a community-engaged solution.
Resemblance: You are supporting your proposal by comparing it to something else that your readers will find persuasive.
- Northwestern University should adopt Via as a ride-hailing application because other large urban universities, such as the University of Southern California, have had success with Uber and Lyft partnerships. (In this case, you are assuming that your Northwestern University stakeholder audience finds what other large universities have done to be appealing and persuasive.)
- The Aggieville Business Association should create a pedestrian-only zone on Moro Street because these pedestrian-friendly areas have been successful in several other Big XII communities.
Causal: You are supporting your proposal by showing how it will cause positive benefits for your readers or for those who are affected by the problem.
- Northwestern University should adopt Via as a ride-hailing application because it will reduce the incidences of driving while intoxicated.
- The Aggieville Business Association should create a pedestrian-only zone on Moro Street because a pedestrian-friendly area will attract more visitors and customers.
Evaluation or Ethical: You are supporting your proposal with value-based reasons. You are telling your readers that they should do something because it is the right thing to do. For example, perhaps you would remind your stakeholder audience of their own ethical values and positions by quoting for them points from their own mission statements.
What if your readers may not accept your reasons and justification?
You may need to provide additional evidence to explain why the benefits of the solution outweigh the risks and fears that you readers may feel.
In the previous University of Utah example, if you were fearful that the stakeholder audiences may not understand how providing low-income students with a 15$/hour part-time job was connected to the problem of students’ feelings of insecurity, you would need to develop your explanation of how this unintended consequence can have beneficial outcomes to other students and to the stakeholder audience. For example, the students who are feeling anxious about going home at night may be reassured that a fellow student is the one who is driving them home, as this student has a closer connection to the university and understands the college community; moreover, this unintended consequence may raise the morale on campus, affecting other types of attitudes of students and, quite possibly, allowing for a better university recruitment potential and learning environment.
Drafting Activity: Proposal Questions
Below are the types of questions you should ask yourself in order to better organize and develop the different sections of your proposal.
Introduction
Who is your audience?
What is your overall problem or topic?
Why does your audience care about the topic? Why is your audience reading this proposal?
What should they expect in your proposal?
What is your overall claim and reasons? (Note: Your claim and reasons should match your overall claim and reasons in your justification section.)
Problem Description: What?
What is the problem?
Whom does the problem affect? In what way does it affect your target audience, in particular?
What is the cause of this problem?
What will happen if this problem is not solved?
Why does this problem need to be solved?
Why hasn’t this problem been solved in the past?
What are the negative effects of this problem?
Solution Description: How?
What is your specific solution?
What does this solution require?
Who will implement the solution?
How will the solution affect the target audience?
What are the costs associated with the solution?
What resources will be necessary to pursue this solution?
What are other possible solutions?
Justification: Why?
(Note: This should be the longest and most developed section.)
Why is your solution one of the best ones available?
Why should your audience choose your solution?
What are your audience-based reasons?
How does your solution benefit your target audience?
How does your solution benefit the larger community?
Why is enacting the solution better than remaining with the status quo?
What are your audiences’ concerns?
How do the benefits of the solution outweigh the costs?
What are the strengths of the solution?
What evidence do you have that your solution will work?
Conclusion
What are the most important points of your overall proposal?
What does your target audience need to do now?
Why should your target audience act?
What might happen if your target audience doesn’t enact your proposal quickly?
Drafting Activity: Applying Audience-Based Reasons
Now look at your own claim and reasons (from the previous questions or from your drafting process) and spend some time analyzing the effectiveness of your audience-based reasoning. Based on your analysis here, you may need to reject some of your reasons and develop others that are more audience-based. Consider the possibilities of different types of reasons from the earlier section in this chapter, Logos: Reason Types.
Reason 1:
- Why would this reason be persuasive to your audience?
- How does this reason reflect your audience’s values, beliefs, or expectations?
- What evidence might you need to provide in order to convince your audience of the validity of this reason?
Reason 2:
- Why would this reason be persuasive to your audience?
- How does this reason reflect your audience’s values, beliefs, or expectations?
- What evidence might you need to provide in order to convince your audience of the validity of this reason?
Reason 3:
- Why would this reason be persuasive to your audience?
- How does this reason reflect your audience’s values, beliefs, or expectations?
- What evidence might you need to provide in order to convince your audience of the validity of this reason?
Reason 4:
- How does this reason reflect your audience’s values, beliefs, or expectations?
- Why would this reason be persuasive to your audience?
- What evidence might you need to provide in order to convince your audience of the validity of this reason?
Revision: Proposal Introductions and Conclusions
Although you want to focus a great deal of your persuasive energy in the three core sections of the proposal—the problem description, solution description, and justification—your introduction and conclusion are important places in which to establish your credibility and approach your readers directly.
Introductions
Here are two examples of problematic introductions:
Example #1
For the history of mankind, people have felt the need for safety. This is no different than college students nowadays, in which safety ranks high on the “wish lists” when it comes to choosing prospective colleges…
Example #2
Imagine that you are walking home late one night. You begin to feel the back of your neck tighten. What was that noise? You see a couple of shadows flickering close to you, and you hear a couple of footsteps. Your breath quickens. You begin to walk faster. The steps behind you speed up, echoing. You start to run, straight out, until you reach the front door of your apartment.
Obviously, these students are trying to connect to their readers, yet the first one is going with the “since-the-dawn-of-time” type intro, which is crafted for composition-class instructors and not for stakeholder readers interested in dealing with the local campus problem of student security. In the second example, the writer is experimenting with pathos, through the emotion of fear. Yet, again, stakeholder readers will likely find this narrative approach to be inappropriate. It is too informal for the purposes of your stakeholder audience.
Here are some options that these two writers—and you—can consider. When it comes to the issue of campus security, proposal writers can
- Showcase a relevant and recent news story
- Find some statistics about attitudes and perceptions (especially with how they have changed)
- Provide more background or context
- Explain what has changed to make this problem more visible or important
- Explain what makes you a credible person to bring this problem to your readers
- Provide an overview of your problem, solution, and justification
- Give your readers a brief preview of your overall explicit claim and reasons
Conclusions
The proposal conclusion is brief, yet it is important: it is your last opportunity to appeal to your readers and leave a lasting impression with them. As the four questions from the earlier section, Drafting Activity: Proposal Questions, indicate, you are emphasizing your most important reasons in the conclusion and you are trying to make your proposal kairotic—you want your readers, in other words, to act now. In order to encourage them to do so, you might consider the following in your conclusion:
- What are the most important points of your overall proposal?
- What do your readers need to do now?
- What may happen if your readers do not act promptly?
Additionally, here are four typical ways of appealing to your readers in the conclusion:
- Reinforce your credibility: “As a student in apparel design, I understand the problems that students in this program have to face every day…”
- Restate and emphasize your claim and reason: “As I have shown in this proposal, you should consider in order to and .”
- Show your understanding of your readers’ concerns, values, and doubts: “Although you may have concerns about the cost of this proposal, the benefits will…”
- Make your proposal more urgent: “You should act now on this proposal in order to…”
Proposal Workshop
Author: Write down two specific questions you have for your reader. What do you most want your reader to pay attention to as they read your proposal draft? Your questions should focus on higher order concerns, such as focus, purpose, development, and organization.
Reader: As you read the draft, pay attention to the questions above. Additionally, note the following issues.
- Who is the audience for the proposal? Is this audience in a position to solve the problem? If not, who might you suggest as another, more appropriate, audience?
- What is the writer’s main claim? In other words, what is the action that the writer is proposing?
- Take on the role of the proposal target reader. What potential problems can you anticipate with the proposed solution? Are there costs or unintended consequences that the writer has not considered? Are there feasibility problems?
- How has the writer addressed the target audience’s concerns?
- What are the main reasons that the author provides for enacting that change?
- For each reason you listed, explain how it will appeal to the target audience (listed in #1). If you cannot explain how it will appeal to the audience, note that as well.
- What is one overall strength in the proposal? What is one thing the writer needs to revise before submitting the proposal?
Workshop: Mini-Workshop Section Checklists
For the core sections of the proposal, you and your partners can consult these checklists to determine whether you are meeting the basic requirements.
Introduction | Yes | Somewhat | No |
---|---|---|---|
Does the writer provide the larger context of the problem? | |||
Does the audience have the authority and power to solve this problem? | |||
Does the writer explain why the readers should be interested or invested in this proposal? | |||
Does the writer provide a brief overview of the problem, solution, and justification? | |||
Does the writer emphasize their own ethos—the reason why they are in a good position to bring this proposal to the reader? | |||
Does the writer emphasize the main claim (solution) and include several reasons? |
What is one strength of the introduction?
What is one area for revision?
Problem Description | Yes | Somewhat | No |
---|---|---|---|
Is the problem meaningful and appropriate for the stakeholder audience? | |||
Has the writer described the causes of this problem? | |||
Has the writer explained whom this problem affects? | |||
Has the writer described the negative consequences of this problem? | |||
Has the writer provided enough detail and evidence to make the readers care about the problem? | |||
Has the writer appealed to the readers through pathos? |
What is one strength of the problem description?
What is one area for revision?
Solution Description | Yes | Somewhat | No |
---|---|---|---|
Is the justification the longest section of the proposal? | |||
Does the justification explain why the proposal is a good way or the best way to solve the problem? | |||
Does the justification include several reasons that the target audience will find persuasive? | |||
Are the reasons in the justification the same as those that were addressed in the introduction? | |||
Does the writer use different types of reasons (e.g., definitional, resemblance, causal, evaluation)? | |||
Does the justification include evidence and explanation that the target audience will find persuasive? | |||
Does the writer use strong topic sentences to focus readers on the main reasons? |
What is one strength of the solution description?
What is one area for revision?
Justification | Yes | Somewhat | No |
---|---|---|---|
Is the justification the longest section of the proposal? | |||
Does the justification explain why the proposal is a good way or the best way to solve the problem? | |||
Does the justification include several reasons that the target audience will find persuasive? | |||
Are the reasons in the justification the same as those that were addressed in the introduction? | |||
Does the writer use different types of reasons (e.g., definitional, resemblance, causal, evaluation)? | |||
Does the justification include evidence and explanation that the target audience will find persuasive? | |||
Does the writer use strong topic sentences to focus readers on the main reasons? |
What is one strength of the justification section?
What is one area for revision?
Conclusion | Yes | Somewhat | No |
---|---|---|---|
Does the writer use a “call to action” to emphasize the importance and urgency of the proposal? | |||
Does the writer emphasize their own ethos? | |||
Does the writer restate the main components of the proposal? | |||
Does the writer leave the reader with a positive impression? |
What is one strength of the conclusion?
What is one area for revision?
Drafting Activity: Transmittal Letter Content and Structure
For this letter you will need to use business letter block format, which includes the following features: heading, date, inside address, salutation, body paragraphs, complimentary close, signature, and author name. This format is used for most business letters and would likely be familiar to your audience. Following a conventional format makes reading your document easy for your reader and enhances your ethos. Each feature of the block format is described below:
Heading:
Block one includes the address of the writer. Do not abbreviate any words other than the two-letter state abbreviation (capitalize both letters). Do not include writer’s name.
Example:
102 Whigham Drive
Toledo, OH 43615
Date:
Type the date on which the letter is sent. Use the date style with which your audience will be familiar:
Examples:
Day Month Year → 2 September 2006
Month Day Year→ September 2, 2006
Inside Address:
This block provides the name and address of the person or institution to whom the letter is addressed. If you do not know the name of the person you want to reach, begin with the job title or name of the department. If you don’t know the job title or department, address a high-level executive.
Example:
Ms. Leslie Washington Tennwear Corporation 606 Carter Avenue
Urbana, IL 61802
Salutation:
The greeting is followed by a colon, not a comma. Common titles—such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr.—are abbreviated, but others are usually spelled out in full (Dean, President, Professor, Reverend, etc.). Use Ms. when addressing a woman unless you have been otherwise informed.
Examples:
Dear Ms. Green:
Dear Dr. Espinoza:
Reverend Lester:
Body:
Arrange the body content to highlight why the audience should consider your proposal.
Introduction Paragraph: Introduce the writer, state the letter’s purpose, and forecast the body paragraphs.
Content Paragraphs(s): In one or two paragraphs, develop reasons for why the audience should consider your proposal. Develop only one reason per paragraph, keeping in mind ethos, pathos, and logos.
Concluding Paragraph: Provide contact information and respectfully request that the audience consider the proposal.
Complimentary Close:
Like the greeting, the complimentary close is a conventional expression. Only the first word in the closing is capitalized; the expression is always followed by a comma.
Examples:
Sincerely, Best wishes, Regards,
Signature:
Keeping parallel to the letter text, include your full name.
Enclosure Notation:
Indicate that another document, your proposal, accompanies the letter.
Drafting Activity: Tone and Style Tips for the Transmittal Letter
With such a short piece of writing, tone and style become extremely noticeable and important. Often, because business letters are considered formal, writers attempt to create a style and tone that conveys formality. Creating formality can feel awkward if you haven’t written business documents before, but the key is being straightforward and concise. Unnatural language results in a lack of credibility and conciseness, so avoid artificial attempts to sound impressive.
Elaborately polite expressions that make the writing stiff, stuffy, and distant are unnecessary. Below are a collection of phrases to avoid and their possible substitutions.
Avoid | Stubstitute |
---|---|
in view of the fact that/due to the fact that/on the grounds that | because |
had the effect of causing | caused |
I want to take this opportunity to thank you | thank you |
in the event that | if |
personally, I believe | I believe |
I want to make it clear that | [simply state what you what known] |
as a means of | to |
at the present time | now |
during the course of | during |
has the ability to | can |
in light of the fact | since |
is reflective of | reflects |
it is my desire that | I hope |
regardless of the fact that | although |
Student Example
Matthew Rodrigues wrote this transmittal letter and proposal in Jonathan Blake’s ENGL 200 class. It won first place in the 2019 Fountainhead Press Expository Program Writing Essay Awards.
2101 N. Crescent Ct.
Kansas City, MO 64152
6 December 2018
Mr. Dan Fowler Councilman
2nd District City Hall, 22nd Floor
414 East 12th Street
Kansas City, MO 64106
Dear Councilman Fowler:
The purpose of this letter is to request that you read the attached proposal and assist with the implementation of the suggested infrastructure improvement. Located in your district at the dangerous intersection of North Ambassador Drive and Northwest Old Tiffany Springs Road, an ineffective four-way stop is the current system in place to control the movement of traffic. I suggest changing this intersection into a multi-lane roundabout in order to improve community and motorist safety and to enhance roadway efficiency.
The addition of a roundabout will increase the safety for all Kansas Citians by decreasing the number of accidents at this intersection, a common problem caused by this four-way stop and the unusual layout of the roadway. Roundabouts reduce the severity of crashes, decrease the number of possible vehicular conflicts, and force drivers to slow down. Pedestrians also benefit from the roundabout due to the splitter island refuge area which simplifies crossing the street. Motorist and pedestrian safety would be greatly improved with this infrastructure upgrade.
Another benefit of the installation of a roundabout is improved traffic flow. The continuous circular flow of traffic around a roundabout will handle a larger volume of traffic and reduce delays, an important aspect to consider for this developing part of Kansas City. Since cars are not required to stop at a roundabout if no conflicts present themselves, this intersection will be more efficient for the nearby shopping centers, local businesses, and community members.
As one of your constituents and a frequent driver of this intersection, I understand the safety concerns of this road. The addition of this roundabout will make Kansas City safer and more efficient and will fulfill our city’s mission to improve public safety and to provide infrastructure improvements. As an elected official, it is your obligation to ensure the safety and well-being of all Kansas Citians. Please view the attached proposal for more benefits. Thank you for your consideration and feel free to contact me at mr@gmail.com with any additional questions.
Sincerely,
Matthew Rodrigues
Enclosed: Proposal
To: Dan Fowler, Councilman 2nd District; Heather Hall, Councilwoman 1st District Cc: Bob Heim, Department Director of Platte County Public Works
From: Matthew Rodrigues
Date: 15 November 2018
Subject: A Proposal for the Addition of a Roundabout to the Intersection of N Ambassador Drive and NW Old Tiffany Springs Road
As a longtime resident of Platte County in Kansas City, Missouri, I often find myself driving through the intersection of N Ambassador Drive and NW Old Tiffany Springs Road. With each visit, I am constantly reminded of the dangers this intersection poses and the high amount of traffic located in this popular part of town. There have been several occasions of slamming on my brakes to avoid a fellow motorist who did not proceed through this intersection correctly and other times trying to avoid the broken glass on the road from a recent accident. In its current condition, this intersection is not contributing to the well-being of residents of Kansas City.
Located at the intersection of N Ambassador Drive and NW Old Tiffany Springs Road, a four-way stop is the current system in place to control the movement of traffic. However, road dividers located in between the lanes of traffic cause the intersection to be larger than usual. As a result, the uncommon layout of this four-way stop confuses drivers as it is hard to determine who arrived at the intersection first in order to follow the right-of-way rules. Not only does this confusion lead to more accidents, but it also causes a slower movement of traffic due to cautious drivers in fear of reckless motorists proceeding through this intersection. I propose that the city of Kansas City improve the functionality of this intersection by replacing the current four-way stop with a multi-lane roundabout. The addition of a roundabout would improve community and motorist safety by reducing the number of accidents, enhance the efficiency of the roadway by improving traffic flow, and also provide benefits to the environment.
Problem Description
The typical four-way stop consists of four stops signs directing traffic for four lanes, two lanes in each direction. However, at the intersection of N Ambassador Dr and NW Old Tiffany Springs Rd, the four-way stop is actually over eight lanes due to dividers positioned in between the different directions of traffic. Due to its large size and unique layout, this confusing intersection poses a safety threat due to the increased number of accidents at this location. According to the Missouri State Highway Patrol Statistical Analysis Center, there have been five reported accidents investigated by the Kansas City Police Department over the past three years at this particular intersection. In addition to the safety concerns of this accident-prone intersection, the increased need for precaution causes cars to drive slowly and for traffic to accumulate. This intersection is located on the corner of the Tiffany Springs MarketCenter, a popular shopping mall and is also just two miles from Zona Rosa Town Center, an upscale shopping center. New stores and developments are constantly being built in this area, such as the almost finished senior care & living facility located on the other corner of this intersection and is reported by the Kansas City Star newspaper to consist of “300 units and include more than 300,000 square feet of space when completed” (Ridder par. 6). New developments around this intersection, such as this large assisted living facility, will increase the concentration of residents in this area and will further hinder traffic flow and the movement of cars. There is also a new concern of having these elderly members of the community living right next to this dangerous intersection. The safety risks and high volume of traffic at this intersection contributes to the lack of an efficient roadway, and the need for an improved and more organized intersection in this popular part of town is apparent. The addition of a roundabout would alleviate these problems currently being faced and improve the Kansas City Northland community constituents you represent.
Solution Description
In order to improve the safety and efficiency of the intersection at N Ambassador Dr and NW Old Tiffany Springs Rd, I propose constructing a multi-lane roundabout to replace the current four- way stop. As defined by Jing Bie, an assistant professor at the University of Twente, along with other professors in the department of civil engineering, a “traffic roundabout is an unsignalized intersection where all vehicles travel in the same direction around a central island” (378). TheU.S. Department of Transportation Federal Highway Administration states that the average construction cost of a roundabout is $250,000 and takes approximately six months to build (“Intersection Safety” pars. 28-29). Although this cost is slightly high, it would be manageable using funds allocated in our city budget. Costs should be covered using the Kansas City’s 2018-19 fiscal year $1.66 billion budget, which was adopted to focus on increases to “public safety expenditures” (“2018-19 Budget” 1). This infrastructure improvement would enhance the safety of the intersection, and therefore it would be appropriate to use the money in this budget that was dedicated to increase public safety. Since this intersection already has multiple functioning roads in place, all that will need to be constructed is the central island to provide circularization of the roadway and the splitter islands to divide the different directions of traffic and to provide curvature of the roadways. For the short time needed to construct the roundabout, detours can easily be placed around this intersection using the nearby NW 88th St and N Mattox to direct traffic.
Justification
An alternative solution for the replacement of the four-way stop would be the installation of traffic signals. According to the Institute of Transportation Engineers, the cost for a traffic signal can range from “$50,000 to more than $200,000 based on the complexity of the intersection” (“Traffic Signals” 2). Although traffic lights might end up being cheaper than the installation of a roundabout, this does not provide the best solution to this problem. The Washington State Department of Transportation has stated that “studies have shown that roundabouts are safer than traditional stop sign or signal-controlled intersections” (“Roundabout Benefits” par. 1). As elected officials, you should want what is best for our community and should choose the solution that will provide the safest results. In addition, “roundabouts eliminate hardware, maintenance and electrical costs associated with traffic signals, which can cost between $5,000 and $10,000 per year” (“Roundabout Benefits” par. 11). The addition of a roundabout would also provide a better return of investment compared to traffic signals. When considering the 20- year service life of roundabouts, for every dollar spent “there was a return of approximately $13 to be realized through crash reduction” (“Intersection Safety” par. 30). Roundabouts would be more effective compared to traffic signals by providing a safer intersection and would actually save the city money by cutting costs associated with accidents and the maintenance of traffic lights.
One major benefit of converting the four-way stop intersection of N Ambassador Dr and NW Old Tiffany Springs Rd to a multi-lane roundabout is the reduction of accidents and the increase to motorist safety. A study conducted by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety has found that “roundabouts reduced injury crashes by 75 percent at intersections where stop signs or signals were previously used for traffic control” (“Roundabout Benefits” par. 2). This improvement in safety is mainly a result of the reduction of possible points of vehicular conflicts compared to a traditional intersection. A two-lane roundabout has eight vehicle-to-vehicle conflicts while a two-lane road intersection has 32 vehicle-to-vehicle conflicts. Additionally, the “geometric curvature ensures that travel speeds on the circulatory roadway are typically less than 30 miles per hour” (“Intersection Safety” par. 6). This lane curvature forces drivers to slow down before entering a roundabout, resulting in fewer accidents. The curvature also requires drivers to travel in one direction, which limits the severity of crashes and helps to “eliminate the possibility for T- bone and head-on collisions” (“Roundabout Benefits” par. 7). The addition of a roundabout would provide major benefits to the safety of motorists by reducing the severity and number of accidents, decreasing the number of conflict points, and by forcing drivers to drive slower.
Not only does the addition of a roundabout improve motorist safety, but also pedestrian safety. Alfonso Montella, associate professor in the department of civil, architectural and environmental engineering at the University of Naples Federico II, along with other researchers found that “due to the reduction of vehicle speed, roundabouts improve pedestrian crossing opportunities and safety” (1222). One important key feature of roundabouts for pedestrians is the splitter island refuge area, which is in agreeance with the policy considerations from the U.S. Department of Transportation. This provided space allows pedestrians to pause on the splitter island, where they “can consider one direction of conflicting traffic at a time, which simplifies the task of crossing the street” (“Policy Considerations” 32). The ability to take a break in between crossing different directions of traffic would allow pedestrians to take their time and to be safer. The addition of this roundabout would improve public safety and is supported by the mission statement of the city that you as an elected official serve and represent. As stated on the Kansas City, MO government website, “The mission of the City of Kansas City, Missouri is to deliver quality, customer-focused municipal services with an emphasis on public safety,…[and] infrastructure improvements” (“Budget Process” par. 3). These are the goals that you strive to abide by each day to make Kansas City a better place for all. This infrastructure improvement would increase the overall well-being and public safety for motorist and pedestrians and reduce the number of accidents at this intersection.
Another benefit of installing a roundabout is the improvement of traffic flow. With the continuous and circular movement around a roundabout, “it is unnecessary for traffic to come to a complete stop when no conflicts present themselves” (“Policy Considerations” 28). Since traffic is not required to stop, roundabouts can handle more traffic which would greatly improve the movement of cars through this intersection. Additionally, studies from Kansas State University measured the traffic flow at intersections before and after the addition of a roundabout and found that “installing a roundabout led to a 20 percent reduction in delays” (“Roundabout Benefits” par. 10). The ability for less congestion and a quicker movement of traffic in this busy part of town would be widely appreciated by members of the community. In accordance with the mission of Platte County Public Works, “The Platte County Department of Public Works continually strives to provide superior performance of infrastructure services to our citizens in order for them to enjoy an enhanced quality of life” (“Platte County” par. 2). The addition of a roundabout would improve the infrastructure of this part of Kansas City, and enhance the quality of life by increasing the efficiency of this intersection with less delays and a better flow of traffic.
Not only do roundabouts enhance public safety and traffic flow, they provide benefits to the environment. Roundabouts are able to provide a reduction in delays because “even when there are heavy volumes, vehicles continue to advance slowly in moving queues rather than coming to a complete stop” (“Policy Considerations” 29). The continuous movement of traffic allows for a reduction in noise and air pollution. Cars are able to consume less fuel from having to stop and go due to complete stops, which also produces less emissions (“Policy Considerations” 29). Improvements to the environment are also in agreeance with the mission of Kansas City. This city is to deliver services with an emphasis on “public health, and the environment” (“Budget Process” par. 3). A roundabout would fulfill the mission of Kansas City by providing a healthier and cleaner environment for the community through its increase in public health and its reduction of emissions and air pollution.
Conclusion
The intersection of N Ambassador Dr and NW Old Tiffany Springs Rd is a dangerous four-way stop that needs to be improved. This intersection is frequently the cause of car accidents and also generates traffic problems for this developing part of Kansas City. With the conversion of the current four-way stop to a multi-lane roundabout, the concerns over safety and traffic flow will be resolved. As studies have found a large reduction of traffic accidents and delays after the installation of a roundabout, the community will greatly benefit from this infrastructure improvement. Roundabouts have also been found to make our community healthier with additional benefits to the environment. As elected officials and representatives of Kansas City, it is your obligation to ensure the safety and well-being for all residents of Kansas City. It is your responsibility to be aware of community problems and where there is need for improvements. With your involvement in committees dealing with transportation and public safety, you hold the power to make this change for the community. If you truly strive to follow the mission of Kansas City, we can achieve these goals by improving this intersection. With your help, the addition of a roundabout at the intersection of N Ambassador Dr and NW Old Tiffany Springs Rd will ensure that Kansas City residents are safe, efficient, and healthy.
Works Cited
“Budget Process – City Goals.” KCMO GOV, City of Kansas City, kcmo.gov/finance/about- finance/budget-office/city-goals/.
“Intersection Safety.” U.S. Department of Transportation Federal Highway Administration, U.S. Department of Transportation Federal Highway Administration, Feb. 2010, safety.fhwa.dot.gov/intersection/innovative/roundabouts/case_studies/fhwasa09018/.
Jing Bie, et al. “Circulatory Markings at Double-Lane Traffic Roundabout: Comparison of Two Marking Schemes.” Journal of Transportation Engineering, vol. 134, no. 9, Sept. 2008, pp. 378–388. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1061/(ASCE)0733-947X(2008)134:9(378).
Montella, Alfonso, et al. “International Overview of Roundabout Design Practices and Insights for Improvement of the Italian Standard.” Canadian Journal of Civil Engineering, vol. 40, no. 12, Dec. 2013, pp. 1215–1226. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1139/cjce-2013-0123.
“Platte County Public Works Department.” Platte County, www.co.platte.mo.us/publicworks/. “Policy Considerations.” U.S. Department of Transportation, U.S. Department of Transportation, www.fhwa.dot.gov/publications/research/safety/00067/000672.pdf.
Ridder, Karen. “New Senior Living Center Coming to Tiffany Springs.” The Kansas City Star, The Kansas City Star, 8 June 2016, www.kansascity.com/news/local/community/816- north/article82489322.html.
“Roundabout Benefits.” Washington State Department of Transportation, 14 Sept. 2018, www.wsdot.wa.gov/Safety/roundabouts/benefits.htm.
“Traffic Signals.” Institute of Transportation Engineers, www.ite.org/pub/?id=e26c7ce7-2354- d714-51f1-3bf5311d7c2a.
“2018-19 Budget Focuses on Public Safety.” KCMO GOV, City of Kansas City, kcmo.gov/finance/2018-19-budget-focuses-on-public-safety/.
Student Example
Lilli Heinen wrote this transmittal letter and proposal in Monica Kopenhaver’s ENGL 200 class.
Lilli Heinen
XXXX Claflin Road
Manhattan, KS 66504
13 December 2019
Mary Hale Tolar, Interim Vice President of Student Success Kansas State University
101 Holton Hall 1101 Mid-Campus Drive
Manhattan, KS 66506
Dear Ms. Tolar:
My name is Lilli Heinen, and I am a sophomore studying pre-veterinary medicine at Kansas State University. I am writing you today to propose a solution which would address a problem are likely aware of: freshmen from small-town, rural communities drop out at a higher rate than their suburban and urban counterparts. As a result, K-State’s retention and graduation rates are not as high as they could be. My proposal for a peer mentorship program for small- town freshmen will not only address this issue but will also help achieve several goals of the Office of Student Success.
Office of Student Success has one of the most important jobs on campus: easing the transition to university and ensuring success throughout the completion of a college degree. The Office also desires to increase the retention rate from freshman to sophomore year. My proposal will help the Office accomplish both of these goals. A peer mentorship program will make it easier for small-town freshmen to begin their college careers at K-State, thus leading to more freshmen returning for their sophomore year.
In addtion, the peer mentors will bridge the academic and student services operations at K- State, achieving yet another of the Office’s goals. Peer mentors will act as a navigation system for their mentees by addressing the specific concerns that may arise amongst their group of freshmen whether they be academic, financial, or social. Upon starting their first semester at K-State, small-town freshmen with no previous college-related experience might not know where to turn to for help. Peer mentors will be able to point freshmen toward the program(s) that will best benefit them and, therefore, serve as the bridges that guide small-town freshmen to success.
I urge you to consider my proposal for a peer mentorship program for small-town freshmen as it will not only benefit the students it impacts directly, it will also benefit the Office of Student Success and K-State. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for your time.
Best wishes,
Lilli Heinen
Enclosed: A Proposal for a Peer Mentorship Program for Small-Town Freshmen
To: Interim Vice President of Student Success Mary Hale Tolar From: Lilli Heinen
Cc: Monica Kopenhaver
Date: 13 December 2019
Subject: A Proposal for a Peer Mentorship Program for Small-Town Freshmen
The transition to university is a difficult one no matter the background of the student. This big change is something all freshmen have in common. K-State has wonderful programs, such as the Office of Student Success, in place to ease the transition for those groups of freshmen who have a particularly hard time adjusting to campus life. However, there is one group whose struggles are not specifically addressed by K-State: small-town rural students. Although these students have access to all the programs available to assist them, these freshmen struggle to adapt to the hustle and bustle of a large university and therefore might not always actively seek out the help they need. These students, if they fail to adapt, could drop out of college and thus, lower K- State’s retention and graduation rates. As a result, the Office of Student Success should create a peer mentorship program for small-town freshmen because such a program will increase the well-being and academic success of these freshmen in addition to connecting academic and student service operations at K-State.
Problem Description
Universities across the nation have implemented outstanding programs to help minority and first-generation students. K-State is no exception. Countless clubs and organizations, in addition to numerous academic resources, specifically target these groups in order to make the transition into university life easier. However, new students from small, rural towns have experienced the same difficulties as the groups mentioned above, but do not receive the same help. In a National Public Radio (NPR) article, authors Elissa Nadworny and Jon Marcus describe this issue as a nationwide one. The article summarizes the sources of the struggles these rural, small-town students face. They range from financial troubles, due to the lower incomes associated with small towns, to academic troubles, caused by lack of exposure to college courses in their small high schools. The article also reports that only 59% of rural students go straight to college in comparison to the 67% of suburban students (Nadworny, 2018). At first glance, this issue may seem to be one that does not impact the university as a whole but rather impacts only a slice of the student population. However, this problem has far-reaching implications at the university. The difficulty these students experience adjusting could be linked to lower retention rates from freshman to sophomore year.
A page on the K-State website is dedicated to reporting graduation and retention statistics for the university. A graph of the freshman-to-sophomore retention rate shows the percent of undergraduate students who have returned to K-State following the completion of their freshman year. In the fall of 2019, K-State had an 85.8% freshman-to-sophomore retention rate (Kansas, 2019). This is a high rate but is lower than the retention rates at other universities. The same page compares the retention rates of K-State to other universities. For example, Auburn University and North Carolina State University both had retention rates of 92% and 94%, respectively, in the fall of 2016. In comparison, K-State’s retention rate was only 85% that year (Kansas, 2019). This discrepancy indicates that something must change about K-State’s approach to helping first-year rural students. The discrepancy also demonstrates that a program focused on targeting the struggles first-year rural students face will increase the freshman-to-sophomore retention rate at K-State.
Solution Description
In order to improve the retention rate of small-town students, I propose that the Office of Student Success implement a peer mentorship program for these small-town freshmen. The mentors will be older students from similar small-town backgrounds assigned to a group of freshmen. All small-town freshmen will be assigned to a mentor for the entirety of their first year at K-State. Mentors will organize one mandatory meeting per semester but will be encouraged to engage their advisees in activities outside of these meetings. In addition, mentors should make themselves available to their mentees via email or groupchat to ensure a meaningful connection. Mentors will be a guide to all the resources available to students and a role model that freshmen can look up to. The resources in question are all the programs that the Office of Student Success and other offices around campus already provide such as tutoring, financial aid counseling, and first-generation student support. They will be working on a volunteer basis, but the program could attract mentors by advertising the benefit of having this experience on a resume. Advertisement can include posters, emails, and promotions on social media. Additionally, advising faculty will be asked to inform their advisees about the opportunity to become peer mentors.
The training for mentors could be covered by the funding allotted to the Office of Student Success for Educational Supportive Services (ESS) as the peer mentorship program will act as an extension of ESS. Funding for ESS comes from the United States Department of Education as well as the university itself (Educational, 2019). The major cost for the volunteers and the Office itself will be the time required to make this program a success. Training will take place during break periods. The training will consist of workshops that give mentors the skills and knowledge to create lasting relationships and provide their mentees with the best resources K-State has to offer.
Justification
The issue of high drop-out rates among rural students is a nationwide one. Other solutions have been implemented by other universities to remedy this problem. In the NPR article mentioned previously, the authors mention a solution implemented by the University of Michigan to help rural students. The university began to extend its Kessler Presidential Scholarship Program to rural students instead of keeping the program exclusive to first-generation urban students (Nadworny, 2018). While this solution, if implemented at K-State, is sure to assist small-town students with the costs associated with attending university, it does not address the issue of the academic gap between rural and suburban or urban students due to lack of access to college- level material in high school. My solution will address this problem because the peer mentors will be able to point their mentees in the direction of the phenomenal tutoring services already provided by K-State. My solution is attractive to the Office of Student Success and the university as a whole for several other reasons.
Firstly, the community born out of a peer mentorship group will increase feelings of well-being and belonging among students. Students who feel welcome and happy at their university are more likely to do well and continue their education, which is the goal of the Office of Student Success. An article from Harvard’s Graduate School of Education written by Victoria Jones summarizes the findings of a study by Professor Christina Hinton on the effect of happiness on student performance. Hinton found that happiness among students is strongly correlated with the culture of the school and relationships with teachers and their peers (Jones, 2015). The peer mentorship program, if implemented at K-State, would provide meaningful connections among members of the group as well as a connection with the student mentor. The Office of Student Success strives to increase retention and graduation rates. Both goals would be met following a successful implementation of this program. Small-town freshmen will be motivated by their peers and mentors to not only stay at K-State but to complete their degrees successfully. Although successful implementation will require lots of time and effort from the Office and the peer mentors, the rewards are enormous because increased retention and graduation rates make K-State more appealing to potential students across the globe.
Second, peer mentorship programs are known to increase academic achievement and improve grades. A research study lead by Dr. Birgit Leidenfrost on the impact of peer mentoring on university students was conducted in 2014. Leidenfrost and others concluded that not only did such programs increase social well-being among students, they also found that freshmen that participated achieved a higher GPA and completed more credit hours than non-participants (Leidenfrost, 2014). The findings of this study show that not only are peer-mentored-freshmen happier, they also do better in school. This is incredibly important to the Office of Student Success and K-State in general. Higher academic achievement may not only lead to higher retention rates but may also increase graduation rates. As mentioned before, these are goals of the Office of Student Success that would be reached with the implementation of my solution.
Finally, the peer mentors are older students who will be trained by the Office of Student Success to point their mentees in the direction of programs already available that are designed to address the struggles of new students. In this way, no new major programs have to be created and implemented at the university, which would cost lots of both time and money. As mentioned in the solution description section, peer mentors will work on a volunteer basis so only an investment of time is required in addition to small costs incurred during training which will be adequately covered by funding for ESS. A peer mentorship program is beneficial to the Office of Student Success because it will achieve the Office’s goal of bridging academic and student service operations. Peer mentors will be the bridges between their freshmen mentees and all the services the university has to offer. As an example, a small-town freshman approaches their mentor about how to email a professor. This particular freshman has never had to write an email following formal guidelines. The freshman asks their mentor to proofread the email. Since the mentor is an upperclassman, they understand how professors should be addressed in a formal email. In addition, because of their background, the mentor understands the struggles all of their freshmen mentees face when coming to university, such as writing formal emails to professors.
Conclusion
Implementing a peer mentorship program to ease the transition to university life for small-town freshmen would ultimately increase retention and graduation rates. Additionally, such programs have been proven to increase GPA and the well-being of the freshmen who participate. A peer mentorship program will also complete the Office of Student Success’s goal of bridging academic and student service operations at K-State. Small-town freshmen will be under the guidance of an older student familiar with the struggles that freshmen like them face. The peer mentor will be able to navigate their mentees through their first year at K-State. If no action is taken, this issue could be exacerbated, leading to declining retention and graduation rates at K-State. The Office of Student Success already provides incredible services designed to help K-State students prosper and a peer mentorship program for small-town freshmen will expose more students to all the Office and K-State has to offer.
References
Educational Supportive Services. (2019). What is Educational Supportive Services? Kansas State University. Retrieved from https://www.k-state.edu/ess/
Jones, V. (2015). Because I’m happy. Harvard Graduate School of Education. Retrieved from https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/15/03/because-i%E2%80%99m-happy Kansas State University. (2019). Freshman-to-sophomore retention rate. Kansas State University. Retrieved from https://www.k-state.edu/2025/dashboards/retention/comparison.html
Liedenfrost, B., Strassnig, B., Schuetz, M., Carbon, C., & Schabmann, A. (2014). The Impact of peer mentoring on mentee academic performance: Is any mentoring style better than no mentoring at all? International Journal of Teaching and Learning in Higher Education, 26(1), 102-111. Retrieved from https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1043041.pdf
Nadworny, E., & Marcus, J. (2018). “Going to office hours is terrifying” and other tales of rural students in college. NPR. Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/2018/12/12/668530699/- going-to-office-hours-is-terrifying-and-other-hurdles-for-rural-students-in-col
Student Example
Neeley Bowden wrote this transmittal letter and proposal in Gehric Milton’s ENGL 200 class
810 Sparrow Ct.
Manhattan, KS 66504
10 December 2019
Mike Dodson Mayor of Manhattan, Head of Manhattan City Commission
1101 Poyntz Ave.
Manhattan, KS 66502
Dear Mr. Dodson:
As a member of the Manhattan community and a Feed Science student at Kansas State University, I have become aware that students are facing issues regarding safe and affordable housing in your city. Therefore, I ask that you read the enclosed proposal on revamping the current legislature on rental properties in Manhattan. By improving the current policies, students will face less financial stress and in turn contribute more to the community. My proposal will maintain high property values and low vacancy rates, the ultimate goal of any city with a large population of renters.
In this proposal, students will get the protection from exploitative landlords that they deserve as members of the Manhattan community. They will not have to worry about facing food insecurity to afford a decent house or living in unsafe conditions to afford the basic necessities of life. In turn, these students would be more willing and better able to contribute more to organizations and businesses in town. They could shop more locally, spend more time volunteering, and ultimately give back to the town that simultaneously supports them.
Reworking the current policies surrounding rental properties, specifically those rented by students, can easily be done through the enactment of rent controls and further legislation. Not only will students feel more like a part of the Manhattan community, the community will greatly benefit from this proposal as well. If you have any questions, please contact me at nb@ksu.edu. I ask that you take my proposal into consideration as you move forward to improve housing in our city.
Sincerely,
Neeley Bowden
Enclosed: Proposal
To: Manhattan City Commissioners and Mike Dodson, Mayor
From: Neeley Bowden
Date: November 11, 2019
Subject: Price Gouging and Negligence of Student Rental Properties in Manhattan, Kansas
According to data published by Kansas State University, almost 25,000 students call K-State and the City of Manhattan home every year. They spend time and money at local businesses, volunteer in the community, and generally become a key piece of the town culture. However, they also face some challenges to integration into the city. As a current student at K-State, I have personal experience with the struggles that students face in becoming a part of Manhattan. One of which is the sky-high rent prices and exploitative landlords due to the lack of control of rental properties by the city. The City Commission should support the enactment of rent control and more legislature regarding rental properties because it would maintain property value, ensure low vacancy rates, improve K-State graduates’ willingness to stay in Manhattan, and improve the community amenities and schools.
Problem
The tribulations students typically face while in college are immense. A large contributor is the struggle to find affordable and comfortable housing, an issue created by the price gouging and property negligence of exploitative landlords. This problem primarily affects college students, but also has a secondary effect on low-income families who rely on affordable rental housing to keep a roof over their heads. When property managers unnecessarily raise the prices of their properties, the entire market price for rental properties increases, which can cause decent properties to become unaffordable for these families. Ultimately, landlords are able to get away with taking advantage of students in this manner because there is very little regulation of rental properties by the City of Manhattan.
The City of Manhattan has generally been opposed to the idea of further regulations for a couple of reasons. For one, rental properties generate tax revenue for the City. If legislation were passed to place a ceiling on rent prices, the City would lose some of the revenue generated by rentals. Additionally, the City does not count students in the census population, nor do they consider students to be actual citizens of Manhattan. Because of this, the City is not inclined to make any special accommodations for students at Kansas State.
However, the problem of high rent and low maintenance seriously affects students whether they recognize it or not. The Department of Housing and Urban Development uses a statistic called the Fair Market Rent (FMR) to gauge how expensive a city is to live in. The FMR measures the 40th percentile rent price in the area, meaning 60% of rental properties in the area are priced above the FMR rate per bedroom. According to RentData.org, the FMR for Manhattan is higher than 89% of other cities in the US despite having a relatively low population compared to other cities with similar FMRs. This statistic illustrates the intense scope of the problem that affects the town’s students.
But why has this affected our town in the first place? The reason is that landlords are able to charge a higher rent price to students because they usually rent per room rather than the entire house. According to Jason Hartman, a real estate consultation company, a home that would rent to a family for $1,000 could be rented to students by the room for almost $2,000. Because of this, landlords have an incentive to charge exorbitantly high prices due to the high demand for student housing. Without many affordable housing options, students are forced to go homeless and sleep in their vehicles or surf their friends’ couches, rent an affordable place in hardly livable conditions, or rent a high-priced property in good condition and risk facing food insecurity or other major financial stress. The culmination of these situations has a negative effect on student performance and university dropout rates. If the city does not put a stop to the exploitative behavior of landlords in Manhattan, these consequences will continue to collect and become a larger problem that is much more laborious to solve than simply implementing further regulations.
Solution
The solution to the exploitation of students by landlords in Manhattan is simple: enact legislation to prevent it from happening in the first place. This legislation would have multiple facets to address the different issues that surround the issue of price gouging and property negligence. A major component of the legislation would be the imposition of rent control in Manhattan. According to an article by Amy Bergen, writer for Money Under 30, rent control is a policy that limits how much landlords can charge in rent and may include limitations on the grounds for eviction and the timing of rent price increases. The goal of rent control is to keep housing at an affordable price and is specifically designed to benefit low- and middle-income renters, like students, which is why it is a great solution to the problem of price gouging.
Another component of the proposed legislation is an ordinance to ensure that properties rented by students are properly inspected for city code enforcement on a regular basis. Currently, city code inspections for low income properties rented by students are few and far between, which has allowed some of these properties to fall into desperate need of proper maintenance. Take Tuttle Terrace for example. Tuttle Terrace is a rental neighborhood with many student inhabitants that is owned and managed by a sole company. As reported by Renters Together MHK, Tuttle Terrace is riddled with broken windows, slumping roofs, and crumbling exterior walls, yet many still choose to live there because the rent is cheap. This level of disarray has only been achieved because the city has neglected to properly enforce housing ordinances on the property management company; however, this is not an issue specific to Manhattan. An article by Karen Black, professor at the University of Pennsylvania, describes how a Pennsylvania town solved this issue with an increase in city code inspections for student housing. The city of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania made a deal with the local college to split the cost of code enforcers specifically dedicated to inspecting and enforcing student rental properties to ensure that students are living in healthy, safe homes. A system like this would greatly benefit the students of Kansas State by ensuring that landlords maintain their properties in good condition and students are not forced to live in houses that are falling apart. For this reason, it is a great solution to prevent landlords from taking advantage of student’s need for affordable housing.
An alternative to this solution is to have the City Commission incentivize the construction of new housing. By the laws of supply and demand, an increased supply of housing will decrease the demand for it and, subsequently, the rent price. However, there are many issues associated with this solution that prevent it from being the best option. An article by Alan Greenblatt, writer for Governing, states that apartment construction – as well as vacancy rates – reached a peak in 2017. The new construction was mainly focused in large cities with high costs of living. Since vacancy rates are increasing, people are simply moving from one house to another and not filling the additional housing. A higher vacancy rate means less tax revenue for the City and possibly lower economic growth for the area because of the decreased amount of rent being paid into property management companies. Furthermore, in cities that have seen a rise in new construction, there may now be a great surplus of housing. Jonathan Spader, a researcher for Harvard University’s Joint Center for Housing Studies, states that so many houses and apartments have become available that now demand is starting to taper off and have no direct effect on pricing (Greenblatt). Because new construction can be easily overdone due to the long timeline it takes to complete, this solution is not the best.
Additionally, the apartments and houses that are being built are not affordable to the average student or low-income family. Most of them are in the luxury tier because they bring in the most money to property managers and cities. The national supply of rental units costing less than $1,250 per month is ever decreasing as the supply for high end apartments has skyrocketed (Greenblatt). This solution would likely only bring about more luxury housing in Manhattan; therefore, it is not a good solution to address the problem of student housing.
Justification
Further legislation and rent controls stand out as the optimal solutions to exploitative landlords and rent gouging because of the benefits they will offer to those affected by the problem. Not only will legislation mandating code inspections of student housing ensure that students are living in adequate conditions, it will require property managers to properly maintain their homes and subsequently keep property values in the area from dipping when older homes are allowed to fall apart. The stability of property values created by these policies should be a great inventive to the city to enact them. Additionally, by placing rent controls on student housing, the City of Manhattan can be certain it will maintain a low vacancy rate by becoming more affordable for students. Every year, enrollment rates continue to decline as the costs of attending a four-year college are ever-increasing. If the city were to place a ceiling on rent prices, more students would likely be able to attend Kansas State due to the decreased cost of attendance, in turn filling more rental properties and generating more revenue for Manhattan. The increase in revenue generated from a lower vacancy rate would likely outweigh the costs of lost revenue from the imposition of a rent ceiling. For this reason, rent controls and further legislation are the optimal solutions for the City of Manhattan.
Furthermore, if rent controls were imposed, the quality of life would increase, and more Kansas State students would be willing to stay in Manhattan after graduation and contribute to the local economy. By limiting the amount of money students have to shell out for rent, they are likely to experience less financial stress and enjoy their time in Manhattan much more. A study of college students done by Jonas Annell and Felix Terman of Kristianstad University found that place satisfaction, or how much a person enjoys being in a certain place, and cost-efficiency were the top determinants of how willing recent college graduates were to stay in their college town. If students were more satisfied with Manhattan and did not have to pay as much to live here, more recent graduates would stay here for good. An influx of ambitious, educated new graduates would lead to the creation of new businesses, attraction of new talent, an increase in tax revenue for the city, and possibly a new generation of potential leaders of Manhattan (Annell). These things would only benefit Manhattan, which is why the City Commission should support legislation and rent controls in support of students.
However, the City Commission should not support rent controls and further legislation for their sole benefit. They should also support this solution because of the effects, both direct and indirect, this solution would have on the community of Manhattan. The direct effect on the citizens on Manhattan, students and not, would be the decrease in financial strain due to rent controls and an increased sense of personal security and autonomy from new policies in support of renters rather than the landlords. These benefits of the proposed solution would have the collective effect of increasing the quality of life and satisfaction in Manhattan, in turn increasing the attractiveness of the city to others looking to move here. The indirect effect of the proposed solution results from the increased revenue generated by the city as property, income, and other taxes associated with rental housing and property management. With more revenue, the city of Manhattan can contribute more money into bettering the community. They could build more parks and green spaces, sponsor more community-wide events, and invest more money into the local school district. The community, not just college students, would greatly benefit from a solution such as the one proposed, which is why the City Commission should support it.
Conclusion
Overall, the City Commission should support rent control and further rental policies in Manhattan because it will greatly benefit the students and the community. Doing so will help maintain property values of houses around campus, keep the vacancy rates low by increasing the demand for housing, make more Kansas State graduates willing to stay, and allow advancements to be made in amenities and schools funded by the city. After all, students are a large and important part of the Manhattan community and deserve to be treated as so.
Works Cited
Annell, Jonas, and Felix Terman. “What Does It Take to Make Them Stay?” Kristianstad University, 2017.
Bergen, Amy. “Can Rent Control Keep Your Rent Costs Low? The Great Debate.” Money Under 30. 12 2019, www.moneyunder30.com/can-rent-control-keep-your-rent-costs-low.
Black, Karen. “The Role Student Housing Plays in Communities.” Shelterforce, National Housing Institute, 6 Sept. 2019, shelterforce.org/2019/09/06/the-role-student-housing-plays-in- communities/.
Cole, Jonathan. “Tuttle Terrace: What We Saw.” Renters Together MHK, 4 Nov. 2019, www.renterstogether.org/blog/2019/11/4/tuttle-terrace-what-we-saw. “Enrollment Statistics.” K-State.edu, 2019, www.k-state.edu/registrar/statistics/. Greenblatt, Alan. “Why Rents Are Actually Lowering in Some Big Cities.” Governing, 2018, www.governing.com/topics/urban/gov-rents-coming-down.html.
“Keys to Successful Student Housing Investments.” Jason Hartman, Platinum Properties Investor Network, 9 Jan. 2017, www.jasonhartman.com/keys-to-successful-student-housing- investments/.
“Fair Market Rent by ZIP Code Accurate Rental Price Data.” RentData.org, 2019, www.rentdata.org/lookup
Conclusion: Summary of Key Rhetorical Concepts
- Call to Action: Strategies that proposal writers use, especially in conclusions, to persuade their readers to act immediately.
- Feasibility: An important quality of solutions in that they meet the intended audience’s concerns about costs, time, and resources.
- Justification: When proposal writers explain why their readers should act and why their solution is effective.
- Stakeholders: For proposals, intended readers who have a stake in the problem or opportunity and who have the power to make change.
Chapter 4 Appendix: Additional Student Examples
Proposal: Kansas State Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness
RJ Salmen
RJ Salmen wrote this proposal in Joseph Frasco’s ENGL 200 class. The intended audience is Thomas Lane, Vice President and Dean of Students at Kansas State.
To: Thomas Lane, Vice President and Dean of Students, Kansas State University
From: RJ Salmen
CC: Joseph Frasco
Subject: KSU Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness
In late September and early October, protests against sexual assault at the University of Kansas and the University of Nebraska-Lincoln sparked conversations on campuses around the nation. On October 5, Kansas State students added their voices to those of the neighboring institutions. The Center for Advocacy, Response, and Education and Wildcats Against Sexual Assault held a walk to protest sexual assault and address Title IX at K-State. During the protest, students walked from Anderson Lawn to President Myers’ residence. Students expressed their clear anger and concern with sexual assault at K-State, calling on President Myers and you, Dr. Lane, to reduce sexual assault and violence and ensure the safety of K-State students.
Students’ calls for change are more than warranted, but they do lack concrete action steps the university can take to address sexual assault and violence. I, along with my peers in the Student Governing Association, brainstormed, researched, and formulated specific action steps we believe to be effective in combatting sexual violence. Thus, I propose a four-tiered solution backed by evidence-based frameworks and qualified methods to prevent sexual assault and violence at Kansas State University. The solutions will individually promote prevention and awareness of sexual assault and violence but more crucially build on and within one another to create an infrastructure of comprehensive prevention and targeted awareness.
Problem Description
Sexual assault on campus is pervasive and constant. According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), 13% of all students experience rape or sexual assault through physical force, violence, or incapacitation (among all graduate and undergraduate students) (RAINN, 2021). Among undergraduate students, 26.4% of females and 6.8% of males experience rape or sexual assault through physical force, violence, or incapacitation (RAINN, 2021). Additionally, 23.1% of TGQN (transgender, genderqueer, nonconforming) college students have been sexually assaulted (RAINN, 2021). Needless to say, sexual assault is extremely prevalent on college campuses, specifically for individuals of marginalized communities. What’s more worrying, though, is the overwhelming lack of university sexual assault prevention and awareness policies that are meant to address sexual assault and sexual violence. Kansas State University struggles with these issues as well. First, K-State has only one non-institutionalized Sexual and Relationship Violence Prevention Specialist Jessica Henault, who is the first prevention specialist at K-State (Leonard, 2021). KU in comparison has six permanent prevention specialist positions that serve uniquely important roles. K-State University has not made a commitment nor given a timeline to if or when they will institutionalize and fund this position. Second, Greek organizations’ unaffiliated status with K-State means that their self-governance extends to cases of sexual assault happening between Greek community members. When a member of a sorority or fraternity experiences sexual assault, their assailant is not held accountable by the university, but rather judged by a jury of fellow Greek life members— an arguable conflict of interest and intense responsibility to place on students. Finally, K-State students have regularly presented their concerns with sexual assault issues and the need for greater sexual assault prevention and awareness. Most recently, students protested the significant lack of sexual assault prevention at K-State on Anderson Lawn and in front of the President’s house. It was made clear to President Richard Myers and Vice President Thomas Lane that students have been and are fed up with sexual assault at K-State. To put it lightly, something must change soon. Otherwise, rates of sexual assault will continue to rise at K-State, decreasing student trust in administration and campus. Students will be less likely to come to K-State out of fear and resentment. And for those who do come? They will be subjected to a culture where the possibility for sexual assault is an ever looming threat.
Solution Description
In order to improve Kansas State University (KSU) sexual assault prevention and awareness strategies, and thereby decrease sexual assault and sexual violence, I propose a four-tiered solution that focuses on primary prevention, or preventing violence before it occurs, and follows the CDC’s four-level social ecological model (Figure 1) (Dills et al., 2016). The overlapping rings in the model illustrate how factors at one level influence factors at another level. The model demonstrates the connection between individual, relationship, community, and societal factors (Dahlberg et al., 2002). On the individual level, the Office of Student Life and Office of the Chief Financial Officer and Budget Office provide a timeline regarding funding and institutionalizing the position of Sexual and Relationship Violence Prevention Specialist for Fiscal Year 2023. On the relationship level, Kansas State University should mandate that all incoming students complete the Wildcats Make a Pact bystander intervention training at Orientation and Enrollment. Wildcats Make a Pact is a bystander intervention training that provides participants with the skills to help them intervene safely when they see behavior that puts others at risk for violence, victimization, or perpetration (Kansas State University, 2021). On the community level, the Office of Institutional Equity (OIE) and the Center for Advocacy, Response, and Education (CARE) Office collaborate with the KSU Student Governing Association (SGA) to create an informational campaign that promotes and educates students about available resources, including, but not limited to, informational flyers inside all campus bathroom stalls, utilizing social media to exhibit and explain the process of reporting an instance of sexual or relationship violence, encouraging instructors to promote resources at least once per semester, and including a permanent link to resources on the sidebar of the K- State Today publication. On the societal level, an administrative framework for investigating Independent Student Organizations, especially for violations of Title IX, harassment, or discrimination, should be developed. The CDC asserts that:
For a campus to have a comprehensive approach, strategies should be in place to prevent violence as well as respond to violence after it has occurred. Primary prevention of sexual violence should complement secondary prevention strategies that address the immediate needs of a survivor after an assault, and tertiary prevention strategies that address longer-term follow up and support. (Dills et al., 2016)
These four initiatives individually serve a unique role in sexual assault prevention and awareness at K-State. In conjunction, though, they build on and within one another to create an intersectional, comprehensive prevention program that fulfills primary, secondary, and tertiary prevention strategy needs, making certain the audience receives messages multiple times to ensure a sufficient dose of and exposure to the intervention.
Justification
First, the funding and institutionalization of Sexual and Relationship Violence Prevention Specialist Jessica Henault, a critical position for sexual assault prevention and awareness at K- State, would reassure students of K-State’s commitment to sexual assault prevention and awareness, produce concrete improvements to campus climate and safety, and position K-State to employ more individuals dedicated to resolving sexual assault and violence issues. The CDC emphasizes that universities must “identify champions” throughout different sectors and communities on campus who can make and keep prevention visible (Dills et al., 2016). Specialist Jessica Henault is that champion. She has done an extraordinary job in her position thus far through education of K-State members, advocacy for survivors, response to sexual assault when it occurs, and overall prevention efforts. K-State must institutionalize the Sexual and Relationship Violence Prevention Specialist to ensure students observe demonstrable commitment to sexual assault prevention and awareness from K-State. Corey Bowman, Associate Vice Provost for Student Services/Title IX Coordinator at the University of Central Missouri, explains that:
Students who have experienced sexual or gender-based violence are more likely to be retained and graduate if they have ongoing access to a trusted, primary campus contact who can act as both a knowledgeable guide and empowered “barrier buster” on a wide range of academic and non-academic challenges. (Bowman, 2016)
K-State will also put itself on track to fund and institutionalize a number of prevention specialists comparable to that of other colleges such as KU who, as stated earlier, have six specialists. A wider team of specialists means greater reach and effectiveness across campus, something that K-State requires to improve upon its current sexual assault prevention and awareness infrastructure.
Second, expanding the proven Wildcats Make a Pact (WMAP) bystander intervention training model to Orientation and Enrollment will exponentially increase its reach and effectiveness, particularly in getting sexual assault prevention and awareness information in front of first-year students when they first arrive at K-State. WMAP has already reached hundreds, if not thousands of students, particularly individuals from Greek organizations, and will continue to reach hundreds more as the CARE office works diligently to support and educate students.
However, program institutionalization through Orientation and Enrollment would exponentially increase the impact WMAP has on students, staff, and faculty. The CDC expresses that prevention messages across different audiences must be consistent and reinforced over time (Dills et al., 2016). Prevention training should be provided to incoming K-State students during both enrollment and throughout their time here at K-State. WMAP expansion to yearly orientation and enrollment would also ensure leadership buy-in, a key aspect of effective and sustained prevention efforts according to the CDC (Dills et al., 2016). A litany of extraordinary individuals who serve in ideation and creation of orientation would be included in the expansion and support of WMAP. They would not only foster innovative implementation ideas, but also advocate for greater prevention and awareness efforts in other areas of K-State, having realized WMAP’s positive impact up until now and possible positive effect it could have on our campus climate in the future.
Third, a multi-faceted informational campaign created by the Office of Institutional Equity (OIE) in collaboration with the Kansas State University Student Governing Association will provide valuable information and resources and empower students, staff, and faculty to get involved in sexual assault prevention and awareness measures. Stephanie Lott, the recently appointed Director of OIE and Title IX Coordinator, has dramatically improved OIE processes to support incidences of gender discrimination such as sexual harassment and violence. However, they have expressed to me and other students on multiple occasions the need for improved marketing of information and resources. Student Governing Association role as a liaison between students and administration means they are uniquely positioned to develop and promote a multidimensional informational campaign that fills that need. Student leaders have a meaningful role to play in the development, implementation, and evaluation of prevention programming. They can create messages that resonate and can be heard by different campus audiences, serve as an accountability measure to administration, and spread information to student populations that need it most. Student encounters with these resources on a daily basis will obviously provide education, but, more importantly, create a culture of advocacy and safety. K-State students, who merely perceive resources created by their campus for the specific purpose of improved knowledge and responsibility, will feel safer existing in their various spaces, perhaps becoming advocates for sexual assault prevention and awareness and possibly even encouraging other students to attend K-State.
Finally, an administrative framework for investigating Independent Student Organizations (ISO), especially for violations of Title IX, harassment, or discrimination, would create consistent investigative processes for members of ISOs who sexually assault or harass other individuals and hold them accountable for their actions – a policy whose nonexistence has permitted acts of sexual assault and sexual violence by students at K-State. Lindsey Reid, a writer for the University of Alabama Institute for Human Rights, asserts in the context of Title IX procedures, “Colleges must have systems in place to deal with sexual assault, since it can have a serious impact on an individual’s educational experience. They should investigate every reported incident and make any necessary accommodations” (Reid, 2018). Currently, that is not the case. Kansas State University does not have a framework for investigating ISOs because they fall outside what K-State has chosen to define as its jurisdiction. Students of ISOs are left to prosecute their own peers on matters of sexual assault and sexual violence, which results in traumatization and bias and further perpetuates a culture of sexual assault at K-State. The Student Governing Association published the Title IX Management Satisfaction Survey and solicited at each sorority house to gather student feedback on changes like this one to the current internal investigation structure. These changes garnered overwhelmingly positive feedback from both sorority members and non-Greek affiliated members at the university. The data show that students want and need changes to current models of investigation. An investigative framework is the change we need to significantly reduce, if not resolve, sexual assault and support students on the societal level, which is a key role of your position as the Vice President and Dean of Student Life.
These four initiatives individually provide unique and effective approaches to reducing sexual assault and sexual violence and fostering a healthier campus climate at K-State. It is necessary, however, to implement all four for the greatest results. As stated previously, these strategies build on and within one another to create an intersectional, comprehensive prevention program, making certain the audience receives messages multiple times to ensure a sufficient dose of and exposure to the intervention. Although evidence for sexual assault prevention is still emerging, the CDC’s “STOP SV: A Technical Package to Prevent Sexual Violence” outlines strategies and approaches for preventing sexual violence in communities (Dills et al., 2016). The acronym “STOP SV” stands for the following: promote social norms that protect against violence, teach skills to prevent sexual violence, provide opportunities to empower and support girls and women, create protective environments, and support victims/survivors to lessen harms (Dills et al., 2016). The framework, applied to Kansas State University, substantiates my multifaceted solution proposition and its overall effectiveness. Actions fail to solve, or, at the very least, help prevent sexual assault when they are one-dimensional in nature. My four action steps work appropriately in conjunction to establish, develop, and expand prevention and awareness strategies that productively function within themselves and within their larger systems.
Opponents of these sexual assault prevention and awareness strategies understandably have questions and concerns regarding their necessity and effectiveness. I believe their concerns can encapsulated in three main points. First, opponents believe a multi-tiered approach is unnecessary to effectively combat sexual assault and sexual violence. The Social Ecological Model provided in the solution description is one of the best models to promote understanding of the potential effect of violence prevention strategies. As the CDC explains, activities across the social ecology can complement and reinforce each other… it is best to not limit prevention to one type of activity [as] stand-alone activities are ineffective and not supported by evidence” (Dills et al., 2016). Second, opponents may believe these specific solutions will be ineffective at combatting sexual assault and sexual violence. In reality, these solutions are an application of the CDC’s exceptionally qualified sexual assault prevention and awareness recommendations to the context of K-State. K-State has committed to following the CDC’s COVID-19 guidelines, and sexual assault prevention and awareness should be no different. Finally, opponents may even posit these solutions as entirely unworkable due to costs associated with prevention and awareness efforts. These four solutions have a couple themes that refute this argument. The Sexual and Relationship Violence Prevention Specialist and the Wildcats Make a Pact already exist and will simply be institutionalized to affect a greater audience under my solution proposition. The implementation of an informational campaign and creation of an administrative framework for investigating Independent Student Organizations utilize current K-State entities and individuals to develop community and societal solutions. In essence, all four solutions would require little or no additional financial resources than are currently being used. Instead, they institutionalize existing K-State sexual assault and prevention strategies and bring together creative thinkers to design further programs and procedures.
Ultimately, the increased safety and security of students as a result of sexual assault prevention and awareness processes contributes to a healthier campus image overall and improves enrollment at Kansas State University, providing dollars for future university development and further prevention and awareness efforts. Lorin Tredinnick, an individual in the School of Social Work at State University of New Jersey, in their article “Sexual Assault Prevention with Student- Athletes: Exploring Perceptions of the Campus Climate and Awareness of Sexual Assault Policies and Resources” corroborates earlier points made in this proposal and builds on them. They explain that their findings demonstrate that “delivering consistent messaging and engaging campus staff in sexual assault prevention provides a foundation for building a positive campus climate which, in turn, may reduce campus sexual assault” (Tredinnick, 2020). When sexual assault prevention and awareness lacks comprehensive, intersectional strategies, as in the case of K-State, campus climate improvement cannot be manifested. Sexual assault plays a substantial role in shaping campus climate and, subsequently, student perceptions of and enrollment at said campus. Tony Bankston, the dean of admissions at Illinois Wesleyan University and a member of the Admission Practices Committee of the National Association for College Admission Counseling, concludes, “If you have increased publicity about mismanagement [or] sexual assault… it may have a snowball effect on application numbers” (Haven, 2014). For example, 2014 applications to two elite colleges – Dartmouth and Amherst – fell by 14% and 8%, respectively, after recent high-publicity sexual assault cases on their campuses” (Haven, 2014). Enrollment drops of that level would be disastrous for K-State, whose enrollment numbers have been steadily declining from 23,229 students in 2014 to 20,229 students in 2021 (Kansas State University, 2021).
When it comes down to it, Kansas State University is a business – just like any other college – whose main goal is to increase enrollment numbers and tuition through positive public imaging and marketing. Stephanie Haven, a writer for the news outlet McClatchy DC Bureau, explains that “‘buyers’ – prospective students and parents – have become more informed about sexual assault as an issue on college campuses, [and] with that savvy has come increased demand for accountability” (Haven, 2014). For parents and students alike, if they perceive a university as being untrustworthy or having a bad record, they are far more likely decide to go somewhere else. Therefore, when Kansas State University commits to supporting students affected by sexual assault and preventing sexual assault from occurring in the first place through my four- tiered solution proposition, they will create a campus climate where students want to and feel safe to call K-State their university. Tracey Vitchers, with Students Active for Ending Rape, sums it up well, saying, “Schools that are very proactive about being open and honest, those schools, I think, over time will become more favorable than schools that are more about risk reduction for themselves” (Haven, 2014). Then, and only then, will Kansas State University be able to attract increased numbers of students, improve enrollment, and continue to develop as a progressive university committed to its student’s safety and well-being.
Conclusion
Sexual assault and violence at Kansas State University means students, specifically women and other individuals from marginalized communities, feel unsafe and unwelcome. Attending meetings, hanging out with friends, and even just existing as a student at K-State can feel dangerous. With the implementation of my four-tiered solution, student concerns over sexual assault and violence and calls for greater university commitment to prevention and awareness will be reduced significantly. All four solutions – individually and collectively – will contribute to a campus climate of support, safety, and transparency. As a university who prides itself on being a family, we often overlook student concerns. To say we are a family is to listen to student concerns without bias and condescension. To show we are family is to – in words and in actions – commit to resolving those student concerns with passion and efficiency. To be a family is to live these principles day in and day out through informed advocacy, unremitting dedication, and impassioned progress. With your help, these solutions can create a Kansas State that we claim and strive to be.
References
Bowman, C. (2016, July 22). How colleges can prevent students from dropping out after a sexual assault incident. HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sexual-assault-hurting- retention-and-recruitment_b_5792383be4b0a1917a6e7cbb
Dahlberg, L.L., & Krug, E.G. (2002). Violence – a global public health problem. In E. Krug , L. L. Dahlberg LL, J. A. Mercy, A. B. Zwi, R. Lozano (Eds.), World report on violence and health (pp.1-56). World Health Organization.
Dills, J., Fowler, D., & Payne, G. (2016, November). Sexual violence on campus: Strategies for prevention [Review of Sexual violence on campus: Strategies for prevention]. Center for Disease and Control. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/campussvprevention.pdf
Kansas State University. (2021, February 11). Enrollment summary by academic year. Retrieved December 3, 2021, from https://www.k-state.edu/registrar/archive- donotuse/statistics/enrbyyr.html
Haven, S. (2014, July 16). Will campus sexual-assault probes affect enrollment? McClatchy DC Bureau. https://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/crime/article24770584.html
Kientz, C. (2019, October 24). Wildcats Make a Pact [Review of Wildcats Make a Pact]. K-State. https://www.k-state.edu/care/wmap/
Leonard, N. (2021, April 20). CARE prevention specialist educates K-State community about relationship, sexual violence. The Collegian. https://www.kstatecollegian.com/2021/04/20/care-prevention-specialist-educates-k- state-community-about-relationship-sexual-violence/
RAINN. (2000). Campus sexual violence: Statistics. Rainn.org. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/campus-sexual-violence
Reid, L. (2018, October 19). Sexual assault on college campuses. UAB Institute for Human Rights Blog. Retrieved December 4, 2021, from https://sites.uab.edu/humanrights/author/lereid/
Tredinnick, L. (2020, October 22). Sexual assault prevention with student-athletes: Exploring perceptions of the campus climate and awareness of sexual assault policies and resources. Journal of Interpersonal Violence. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260520967144
A Proposal for Presentations to Improve Health Literacy in Decatur County
Rachel Thurman
Rachel Thurman wrote this proposal in Anne Longmuir’s online ENGL 200 class. It won second place in the 2023 Expository Writing Program Essay Awards.
Transmittal Letter
8 November 2022
Terri Gager, Practice Manager, UPMC DCRHC; Chair, The Endeavor Foundation
208 Thinve Road
Riley, PA 14822
Dear Ms. Gager:
My name is Rachel Thurman. I am currently the Medical Receptionist for the Riley Physical Therapy office, located within the UPMC Endeavor Decatur County Rural Health Clinic. I am writing to you today to propose a solution which I feel would address a commonly overlooked issue in Decatur County: Health Literacy. Health literacy is defined, per the CDC, as “the degree to which individuals have the ability to find, understand, and use information and services to inform health-related decisions and actions for themselves and others.” You may not be aware of this, but according to research, Decatur County actually ranks in the lowest percentile of health literacy levels in Pennsylvania (“National Health,” 2014). Low health literacy has many negative health outcomes, such as repeated readmissions, higher mortality rates, and underutilization of health services, especially preventive care. I am proposing a solution to address this issue. This solution consists of forming a roster of providers and other healthcare professionals within the UPMC network, who would volunteer to give bi-monthly presentations in the clinic’s multipurpose room. Each month there would be two presentations on a themed topic. The subject matter of the presentations would be relevant to improving health literacy, and the source of the information would come from UPMC-approved sources, such as the resource library or UPMC healthcare providers themselves. There would be very minimal costs associated with this endeavor, as, again, the speakers and presenters would be on a volunteer- basis. The Endeavor Foundation would assume any costs that do arise, but they would be minimal, I can assure you.
As both the Practice Manager of the UPMC CDRHC and the Chair of the Endeavor Foundation, your collaboration with this project is crucial. The Endeavor Foundation aims to serve UPMC’s community engagement efforts and has funds specifically for improving the wellbeing of the local community, so I feel this proposal would be a perfect opportunity to accomplish both of these goals. The clinic cannot utilize the multi-purpose room without the practice manager’s approval, so your input and endorsement are essential. I would urge you to consider my proposal for these presentations, as it would be beneficial to both patients and the clinic, for both outcomes and economic factors, which I detail more in the following pages.
Thank you so much,
Rachel Thurman
Encl. A Proposal for Presentations to Improve Health Literacy in Decatur County
Introduction
A 2019 article in Cardiology Magazine (“Recognizing,” 2019) details the story of a patient, a middle-aged man with heart failure. To manage this condition, he had been prescribed a beta- blocker, metoprolol succinate. Recently, however, his medication had been swapped to carvedilol. After some startling side effects, such as extreme fatigue and a reduced heart rate, the patient ceased taking any of his heart medication. When a pharmacist asked him why, the patient cited the two symptoms. The pharmacist immediately realized the issue upon looking at his medication list: the patient was still taking the metoprolol in addition to his newly swapped carvedilol. When the pharmacist asked why he hadn’t stopped taking the metoprolol, the patient told him, “Nobody told me I was supposed to.” This is a prime example of the consequences of low health literacy.
Problem
Health Literacy is defined by the CDC (2021) as “the degree to which individuals have the ability to find, understand, and use information and services to inform health-related decisions and actions for themselves and others.” According to a Health Literacy map created by UNC Chapel Hill, 38% of Decatur County residents have basic, or below basic, levels of Health Literacy (“National Health,” 2014). This ranking places them in Quartile 1, which accounts for the lowest literacy levels in the state. Not only does this result have negative health impacts for our patients, but it can also have negative impacts on the UPMC Endeavor Decatur County Rural Health Center, economic and otherwise. As a longtime employee of UPMC, I have seen many different examples, from missed appointments, to noncompliance, and even to a situation of a patient putting himself at risk for a blood clot because he was confused about post-operative procedures following a knee replacement. Most of the time, these examples are not signs of irreverence, but simply of ignorance. Low health literacy can be costly; according to many studies, low health literacy is correlated with many negative health outcomes. Some examples are higher mortality, being unable to interpret labels (prescription and nutrition), incorrectly taking medicine, and being less likely to utilize preventative services (Berkman et al., 2011).
There is also an increased risk of unnecessary hospitalization and readmission (Berkman et al., 2011). Patients, right here in our own community, have low health literacy. This means that they are, at times, afraid to ask questions. They could be more likely to be confused by treatment plans and can jeopardize their wellbeing by jumping to conclusions or making assumptions about their own health. The question is—what can we, as a clinic, do to combat this problem? The answer is bi-monthly, patient-centered presentations, with a focus on topics that enhance health-literacy.
Solution
I propose that the Decatur County Rural Health center partner with The Endeavor Foundation, the committee that is responsible for community engagement and community wellbeing. Any funds necessary would be provided by The Endeavor Foundation, as this is their purpose, but most of the program would be conducted through a volunteer basis and would not incur a significant cost. The Decatur County Rural Health center would be responsible for using the multipurpose room to conduct bi-monthly presentations. This room can accommodate approximately 46 individuals. Topics would be presented by various providers, healthcare professionals, and other relevant community members within the UPMC system. Topics and related information could be acquired using many sources: UPMC’s online resource library or the knowledge of the UPMC professionals themselves. All these resources, found within the online library, are free and available to UPMC Healthcare providers. This access would ensure that the information is accurate, evidence based, and unbiased. This would also ensure that the information is coming directly from UPMC and will be representative of their ideals and brand. Subject matter will be relevant to health literacy and will be patient-centered. Patient-centered care is defined as “[p]roviding care that is respectful of, and responsive to, individual patient preferences, needs and values, and ensuring that patient values guide all clinical decisions” (Brewer). These topics could be tailored to fill many of the gaps that are found in low Health Literacy levels. Should UPMC choose to provide refreshments to those that attend the presentations, this would cost The Endeavor Foundation approximately $11.00 per month. The Endeavor Foundation would also be responsible for the management of the roster of providers and other volunteer-presenters, the schedule of topics, and identifying the specific gaps found in Decatur County to aid in determining what the topics will be. This roster will be comprised of familiar faces, those who are present within the clinic and the main UPMC campus in Coudersport, Pennsylvania. This way, patients are familiar with the person who is presenting. Additionally, this program will count toward the mandatory volunteer hours required by each provider, which would be a good incentive for them to participate.
Your colleague, Destiny Amur, PT, DPT, Endeavor Foundation committee member, has already volunteered to take responsibility for these tasks. An example of a typical month would be as follows: Consider October, which is Breast Cancer awareness month. Session 1, the first week, would consist of the local oncologist discussing topics such as cancer itself, progression, and the process of chemotherapy and radiation in language that is simple for the attendees to understand. The second month could be a technician or a representative of Oncology, providing information on where to find treatment centers or support groups, explaining the insurance- aspect of receiving cancer treatment, etc. Again, it would be done in very simple language, at an appropriate pace. These topics could change monthly, or even biweekly, depending on the schedule Destiny creates. These topics could focus on medication management, chronic disease, nutrition, or family medicine.
Justification
Obviously, the main goal for these efforts is to improve health literacy in Decatur County for our patients. It is simple to say that we could, and should, do this for no other reason than the positive health outcomes. A 2011 systematic review published in the Annals of Internal Medicine by Berkman et al. states higher levels of health literacy are directly correlated with decreased mortality, hospitalizations, and readmissions, and increased overall health status. Elderly patients with advanced health literacy are also more likely to interpret their medication labels correctly, meaning they can understand how and when to take (or stop) a medication (Berkman, et al., 2011). However, the implementation of bi-monthly, patient-centered, Health Literacy presentations at the UPMC Endeavor Decatur County Rural Health Clinic would be beneficial for a plethora of other reasons. Firstly, such a program is a direct representation of UPMC’s vision and core values. It would increase the level of community engagement, forging new connections and nurturing existing ones with patients and non-patients alike. Most importantly, this solution will generate positive economic value for the clinic itself.
One segment of UPMC’s model calls for “redefining health care” by “serving the underserved and disadvantaged, and advancing excellence and innovation throughout health care” (UPMC, n.d.). Individuals with low health literacy are among the most disadvantaged there are within the healthcare system. Research has shown that low health literacy is more of a predictor of disparities in healthcare than race or even socioeconomic status. UPMC’s fight to redefine healthcare includes these individuals. By making every effort possible to raise these numbers, UPMC will be adhering to several of its 5 Core Values. This includes, but is not limited to, “Responsibility and integrity” and “Excellence and innovation” (UPMC, n.d.).
Another beneficial aspect of implementing this solution is that it would enhance community engagement and community visibility. Not only would it engage the citizens of Decatur County, but it would market the program. Ever since Clearfield-Jefferson County Primary Care Associates opened their Decatur County location, UPMC has been losing patients at an exponential rate. In a personal conversation with you, Terri, you told me that we have lost a total of 128 patients from our caseload, which is a huge number considering we are one of the smallest counties in Pennsylvania. Community engagement is essential to expose the residents of Decatur County to not only UPMC Providers but also to our services and our values. This solution would give our patients a clear picture of who cares and why. We could distribute literature and business cards at these meetings for patients as well, provided for free from the Marketing department. This marketing opportunity will allow us to potentially improve numbers in areas such as new-patient acquisition (as the providers build rapport and trust with these individuals) and current caseload retention. Sending familiar faces out into the community and talking directly to our patients are going to be the most appealing methods.
Decatur County is full of citizens that want someone local—they’re more likely to trust someone they’ve worked with before and more willing to listen to what they have to say.
This benefit directly brings me to my final point: the economic impacts of health literacy. Ever since the implementation of the Affordable Care Act, Centers for Medicare Services have been penalizing hospitals for “unnecessary readmissions,” especially when a patient is returning to the ER and utilizing services within 30 days after a previous emergency room discharge. As many as 82% of hospitals were penalized by Medicare. In addition to steep penalties, Medicare reimbursement is being reduced by as much as 3%, which can add up very quickly considering how many patients have Medicare (Stinebuck, 2022). In a 2021 blog post, Brian Brewer points out that patients with low health literacy are more likely to have more hospital stays and emergency room visits, and this factor can cost the healthcare system as much as 280 million dollars alone. He also highlights other negative financial benefits that come from low health literacy, such as gaps in care and the lack of service utilization. These gaps mean that patients with low health literacy levels are less likely to seek preventative care and preventative services, such as getting vaccinations or wellness exams, and are also more likely to skip or no show for appointments (Brewer, 2021). This also is very costly to the healthcare system: missed appointments account for more than 150 billion dollars in accrued costs, with each no-show appointment, on average, costing individual clinics over 200 dollars per incident (Brewer, 2021). Conversely, according to the Health Resources & Services Administration, patients possessing higher levels of health literacy are more likely to exhibit adherence to care plans and medications and are much more likely to utilize preventative and specialty services offered by healthcare systems. It also reduces the risk of hospital readmissions (Health Resources & Services Administration, 2017).
There have been other solutions proposed to address these issues. Recently, attempts have been made to address low health literacy rates by focusing entirely on physicians’ direct interactions with patients. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, this includes encouraging physicians to use basic language, create a welcoming environment, and ask simple questions to verify understanding (CDC, 2021). However, this should be less of a methodology to improve health literacy but more of a baseline expectation for all providers. Furthermore, this alternative solution negates addressing health literacy at the source: the patients themselves. Many of the negative outcomes are going to impact the patient, rather than the physician, so it makes more sense to address the issue with a patient-centered approach. 82% of patients claim that high-quality customer service is the leading influence in choosing care or choosing to continue care with a provider (Brewer, 2021). Any attempt to prioritize the individual patient is going to be crucial in both acquisition and retention.
Conclusion
As I have shown you, low health literacy can have a huge negative impact from many perspectives. The implementation of such a program aligns perfectly with UPMC’s mission statement and core values, which include innovation and representation of undeserved communities. Patients, first and foremost, can have negative health outcomes, such as increased mortality, increased hospitalization, and increased risk of disease development. Secondly, there is also a huge economic burden to the healthcare system. Hospitals can be penalized by Medicare for unnecessary readmissions, which are more prevalent in patients with lower health literacy levels. Clinics can also lose money from no-show appoints, care gaps, and underutilization of healthcare services. However, by implementing bi-monthly, patient- centered presentations given by UPMC providers on varying topics meant to improve health literacy, there will be a mutually beneficial outcome. First, patients will be given the tools and information necessary to improve health literacy rates in Decatur County, thus accounting for positive health outcomes, such as reduced admissions and the increased utilization of preventative services. This benefit has the potential to increase revenue for the clinic and could also decrease the risk of unnecessary readmissions, liberating UPMC from subsequent penalty from Medicare. Finally, this endeavor will also increase community engagement and visibility, allowing patients to connect with the providers personally. I urge you to consider this proposal for the well-being of our patients, our company, and, perhaps more importantly, ourselves.
References
Berkman, N.D., Sheridan, S.L., Donahue, K.E., Halpern, D. J., & Crotty, K. (2011). Low health literacy and health outcomes: An updated systematic review. Annals of Internal Medicine, 155(2), 97–107. https://doi.org/10.7326/0003-4819-155-2-201107190-00005
Brewer, B. (2021, September 30). 25 healthcare statistics that show the power of patient centered care. The Silverline Blog. https://silverlinecrm.com/blog/healthcare/25healthcare-stats-that-show-the-power-of- patient-centered-care/
CDC. (2021, June 4). Health literacy research and best practices. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/healthliteracy/researchevaluate/comm- strategies.html
Health Resources & Services Administration. (2017, March 31). Health Literacy. Official Web Site of the U.S. Health Resources & Services Administration. https://www.hrsa.gov/about/organization/bureaus/ohe/healthliteracy
National health literacy mapping to inform health care policy. (2014). Health Literacy Data Map.
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Retrieved November 8, 2022, from http://healthliteracymap.unc.edu/#
Recognizing and addressing health literacy in your patients: Low health literacy impacts cardiovascular prevention, treatment. (2019, October 18). American College of Cardiology Foundation. https://www.acc.org/latest-in- cardiology/articles/2019/10/06/24/42/cover-story-recognizing-and-addressing-health- literacy-in-your-patients
Stinebuck, M. (2022, January 27). Understanding your readmissions: How to reduce penalties. RACmonitor. https://icd10monitor.medlearn.com/understanding-your-readmissions- how-to-reduce-penalties/
UPMC. (n.d.). Mission, Vision, and Values. University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. Retrieved November 8, 2022, from https://www.upmc.com/ABOUT/WHY-UPMC/MISSION
A Proposal for Installation of Soil Moisture Sensor Systems
Clayton Mombello
Clayton Mombello wrote this proposal in Sarah Morgan’s ENGL 200 class. It won second place in the 2024 Expository Writing Program Essay Awards.
To: K-State Landscape Superintendent Shad Hufnagel
Cc: Sarah Morgan
From: Clayton Mombello
Date: 7 December 2023
Subject: A Proposal for Installation of Soil Moisture Sensor Systems
Water conservation is a priority for the region encompassing K-State, the region has been suffering from one of the longest droughts in the history of Kansas. This hasn’t gone unnoticed among the K-State Research and Extension Service. Water efficiency has been at the forefront of horticultural and agricultural research here at K-State and it has shown that there is plenty of room for improvement when it comes to turfgrass irrigation efficiency. Almost all of their research points to lawn sprinklers being made more efficient with the addition of a soil moisture sensor that only turns on the sprinkler system when the soil is dry. As a student of K-State Horticulture, a soil moisture sensor system is a topic we have discussed in most of our required courses as a means of promoting plant, soil and environmental health. While K-State has a high standard for the appearance of the landscape, water usage can be reduced without sacrificing the aesthetics of the campus. Installing these soil moisture sensors will save the department lots of money by preventing turf damage and allowing the grounds crew to devote their time to other, more important tasks. K-State needs to invest in a soil moisture sensor system in order to conserve water, apply their own research to the field and promote turfgrass health. I urge you as the Superintendent of the Landscape Services, to consider installing these cost-saving systems to the K-State campus.
Problem Description
Walking around campus some mornings, you might notice wet sidewalks and muddy areas near them. While most students will brush this off as the morning dew, this moisture is being caused by something far easier to control. Inefficient sprinklers on the K-State campus may seem like an insignificant issue, however it can cause lasting environmental effects. Inefficient sprinklers waste water by spraying onto paved sidewalks, or areas that receive high amounts of foot traffic.
Wasting water is of high environmental concern within the region due to limited water resources. According to the U.S. Drought Monitor, 76% of the state is experiencing some level of drought while 22% of the state is suffering from extreme drought (Drought.gov). This statistic should create a stark notice that changes need to be made. Wasting a couple inches of irrigation water per sprinkler doesn’t seem like it would worsen a region facing drought, however every drop counts especially when talking about the massive irrigation system that K-State has in place.
Inefficiencies can be created through a host of methods: spraying at the wrong time of day, spraying at the wrong time of year, spraying the wrong amount or spraying onto the wrong areas. Each of these can have an outsized effect on resource efficiency and promoting conservation practices. Promoting soil integrity is a major concern when it comes to this issue. When walking around campus, pedestrians may notice that there are dirt patches near sidewalks and areas of high foot traffic. When this is sprayed with water, it causes the rich clay soil native to the region to become compacted. Soil compaction is of large environmental concern as it becomes very difficult to grow grass in compacted soil. Having bare dirt exposed to the elements without a cover plant could lead to soil erosion, further worsening the environmental effects.
While there are numerous environmental reasons to fix inefficiencies in the lawn irrigation system, having inefficient sprinklers is also a nuisance to pedestrians. During a time of high traffic such as during a passing period, you might notice students walking around wet areas of sidewalk or even side stepping into the dirt in order to not step on wet concrete. Students most likely find this annoying as well as the people responsible for maintaining the grass that is being damaged. Fixing this grass can be a costly endeavor, especially considering it can be prevented all together. The K-State landscape department could devote more of its labor hours and dollars to projects other than turf repair caused by inefficient sprinklers.
This problem hasn’t been addressed due to the focus on other problems affecting the K-State campus such as stormwater management, maintaining current infrastructure and protecting the threatened species that provide environmental and aesthetic value to the campus. In addition to this, methods of increasing water efficiency have recently been receiving focus from researchers as the problem has been plaguing the west coast and we are just now beginning to see the tangible effects of drought in the midwest region.
Solution Description
Inefficient sprinklers can be maximized in a plethora of ways. However, the best option for K-State is to install soil moisture meters around campus in order to utilize irrigation only when the grass needs it. By installing moisture meters underground, sprinklers will automatically turn on when the soil hits a certain level of dryness instead of turning on just because it is a Wednesday. The EPA describes the soil moisture sensor (SMS) savings in their WaterSense program, “Installing a WaterSense labeled SMS can save an average home with an automatic landscape irrigation system more than 15,000 gallons of water annually” (EPA 5). 15,000 gallons is a lot of water, but this statistic is at the residential level. Imagine how much water could be saved when this is scaled up to the institutional level that K-State operates at.
A soil moisture module approved by the EPA costs $150 (Hunter Industries), each module can operate four sensors within a thousand feet. While the exact number of soil moisture sensors to be used is up to departmental budgets, I recommend having at least two sensors in each zone of campus. This would cost $1500 dollars. In comparison to the water savings as well as the chemical input savings, the $1500 would earn itself back quickly. Installation won’t take long either. It only takes one person thirty minutes to install a meter. This means that if the grounds crew were to install the sensors, it would take one crew member five hours to install the entire system. The soil moisture sensor has to be placed around eight inches underground and doesn’t require any special maintenance or skillset to use.
Another possible solution to conserving water would be to let the grass become dormant during the hottest weeks of the year. According to K-State Research and Extension, “While dormant, lawns may go two to three weeks or more without water. After that, it’s important to keep the crowns of dormant grass plants alive by applying about 1/4 inch of water every couple of weeks” (KSRE 2). This approach saves considerably more water than any other approach and also prevents soil erosion, soil compaction and weed growth. However, dormant grass turns browner and has less aesthetic value. As a result, it is not desirable by K-State leadership. Especially since this would be happening when students and prospective students are arriving to begin class in the fall. Installing soil moisture sensors would be the better solution as it reduces water usage while maintaining the same level of turf quality. The solution of letting the grass go dormant would reduce usage, but it would be at the cost of greatly reduced turf quality.
Justification
Installing soil moisture sensors is the best solution for K-state because it reduces spending on water. Soil moisture sensors are very cost effective as they only cost $150 and will earn their worth in water savings very quickly. Comparing the cost of a soil moisture sensor system to the water savings, would make this device one of the top water saving measures, beating efficient toilets and sinks. According to the EPA, a SMS can save about 15,000 gallons of water per year on a residential landscape (EPA 5), when this is scaled up to the gargantuan K-State landscape, the rewards will be prevalent for years to come. Soil moisture sensor systems also take into account precipitation, turning sprinklers off when the rainwater is sufficient. This furthers the savings as it can save the university water resources equivalent to the rainfall of the season. Furthermore, according to Micheal Dukes, a turfgrass researcher and professor at the University of Florida, “the soil moisture sensors tested reduced irrigation by 42% to 72% on average, while maintaining good turf quality” (Dukes 6). This study was done on a larger scale similar to the scale on which K-State operates. This shows that if the grounds crew were to install soil moisture sensor systems, it could cut the water bill in half when it comes to irrigation. Efficiently using university’s allotted funds for landscaping is of high priority because it can allow for more improvement of the campus’s landscape rather than just maintenance and repair of the landscape.
K-State should install soil moisture sensors because it is what the university teaches its students to do when they enter the landscape industry. K-State is known across the region as being a leading horticulture research university with a reliable and extensive research and extension program. K-State has one of the top turfgrass programs in the nation and is constantly researching methods to make lawns better. In a publication by K-State Research and Extension, they advocate for the use of soil moisture meters. They write, “An automatic timer does not account for changing water requirements unless there is a sensor attached that automatically turns the sprinkler system on and off according to the moisture in the soil. A moisture sensor saves money by reducing unnecessary water applications” (KSRE 3). If K-State research shows that a moisture sensor is more efficient, it makes sense for them to apply this research and install soil moisture sensors on campus. It can also be used as a demonstration of irrigation techniques for students taking irrigation management courses ranging from the agronomy department to the conservation department. The relevance of this technology spans past just the horticulture department. The educational benefit of installing soil moisture sensors on campus will leave an impression on generations of students and show that K-State applies their research to the betterment of the area. K-State practices reflecting K-State research also provides validation of our quality programs and can be used as an example of what other large institutions should do regarding their lawn maintenance practices.
K-State’s landscape provides an amazing environment for students that allows them to focus on their studies and the landscape crew is tasked with maintaining this outdoor aesthetic. K-State’s high standards for the appearance of the landscape makes plant health a top priority for the landscape department. Thick green grass is foundational to having the best landscape and it all starts with healthy turf. Soil moisture systems improve turf health greatly because it gives the grass water when it needs it, not because of a predetermined routine. Currently, K-State sprinklers run on a mechanical timer meaning they turn on during specific times of the day. This is inefficient because the grass doesn’t always need to be watered on a routine schedule. Prior to the introduction of soil moisture sensor systems, turf health and water usage had an inverse relationship meaning one had to be sacrificed to promote the other. This belief is still held among many landscape superintendents. However, according to research done by Mary Shedd, a researcher and professor at the University of Florida, having good turf health doesn’t necessarily mean that water conservation is sacrificed when it comes to soil moisture sensor systems. She writes, “The medium threshold setting soil moisture sensor-based and both of the ET-based treatments produced good turf grass quality while reducing irrigation water use. Savings for the medium soil moisture sensor-based systems ranged from 11–28%” (Shedd 12). This demonstrates that irrigation, when used at the correct time, can be reduced with little effect on overall turf health. The grass will still meet K-State standards for appearance, with less water usage brought on by soil moisture sensor systems. Healthier grass means less money has to be used to repair it when the turf is damaged and that it uses all inputs such as water, fertilizer and pesticides more efficiently, ultimately saving the department more money.
Conclusion
K-State needs a soil moisture sensor system installed on campus because it will improve water efficiency, promote plant health and put K-State funded research into practice around campus. The water conservation crisis is only going to grow over time, as a public land grant university, K-State should be leading the charge on solving the water crisis plaguing this region. Being a K-State Horticulture student, I know that K-State has the knowledge, skillset and resources to implement this solution. As the Superintendent of Landscape Services, I urge you to be the change for the region and install a soil moisture sensor system on campus. While installing a soil moisture sensor system to just K-State won’t solve the crisis, it will demonstrate to the community what can be done in order to ease the worst of the symptoms and show that Kansas State University stands for solutions. To not act upon this solution would be straying from K-State’s mission of advancing the well-being of Kansas and only postponing the problems ofthe looming consequences that a drought-stricken region will have to face.
Works Cited
Shedd, Mary. Soil Moisture Sensor Landscape Irrigation Controllers: A Review …, www.researchgate.net/publication/277891514_Soil_Moisture_Sensor_Landscape_Irrigation_Controllers_A_Review_of_Multi-Study_Results_and_Future_Implications. Accessed 10 Dec. 2023.
Braun, Ross. Mf2059 Watering Your Lawn – Kansas State University, bookstore.ksre.ksu.edu/pubs/MF2059.pdf. Accessed 10 Dec. 2023.
Dukes, Micheal. Evaluation of Evapotranspiration and Soil Moisture-Based Irrigation …, ascelibrary.org/doi/10.1061/40927%28243%29238. Accessed 10 Dec. 2023.
“Kansas.” Drought.Gov, www.drought.gov/states/kansas. Accessed 10 Dec. 2023.
Soil Moisture-Based Irrigation Controllers | US EPA, www.epa.gov/watersense/soil-moisture-based-irrigation-controllers. Accessed 10 Dec. 2023.
“Soil-CLIK® Sensor.” Soil-Clik® Sensor | Hunter Industries, www.hunterindustries.com/irrigation-product/sensors/soil-clikr-sensor. Accessed 10 Dec. 2023.
- If you are interested in reading more about the debates surrounding ride-hailing applications and universities, read Kathryn Palmer, “Why Some Colleges Have Abandoned In-House Safe-Ride Programs in Favor of Uber, Lyft, or Via.” Chronicle of Higher Education, September 18, 2019. ↵
- Brenda Martin helped develop this activity. ↵